By Lex June 19, 2014 @ 11:55 AM
I thought they’d kill the Transformers movie series after the studio and producers and Michael Bay all got together and realized that easy money wasn’t making them feel whole inside. That didn’t happen. They just got so peeved over being forced to self-reflect, they cast Mark Wahlberg in the lead as punishment. Shia LaBeouf is a walking turd but he can act. Mark Wahlberg was born to dispense Klondike bars at minor league baseball games and knock up your teen sister. He’s got exactly three moves. The raised eyebrow of discovery, the bicep flex of time to get shit done, and the eyes to the ground at two o’clock when he learns he’s been betrayed. When he combines all three in a single scene, Marlon Brando gets an erection in his grave. Fuck you, Megatron, you’ve got none chance.
Photo Credit: Getty
By brendon November 09, 2012 @ 6:16 PM
We know of course that earth will be attacked by outer space robots at least one more time, but what we haven’t known until today is what human will stand there reacting while a different set of outer space robots, the ones with less growly voices, defend us. But now we do, thanks to Michael Bay and his official blog, though “thanks” really does not seem to be the right word.
After an exceptionally successful collaboration on the upcoming “Pain and Gain,” Michael Bay has cast Academy Award®-nominee Mark Wahlberg in the highly anticipated “TRANSFORMERS 4.” The film will hit theaters June 27th, 2014.
“Mark is awesome. We had a blast working on “Pain and Gain” and I’m so fired up to be back working with him. An actor of his caliber is the perfect guy to re-invigorate the franchise and carry on the Transformers’ legacy,” said Bay.
And even better guy to re-invigorate the franchise would be the kid at the movie theater, who instead of giving you a ticket to Transformers 4, gives you a ticket to a different, better movie.
By brendon October 18, 2011 @ 1:10 PM
Ehren Kruger is a pretty shitty writer, so this seems hard to believe but apparently he has an idea so amazing that Paramount might film ‘Transformers’ 4 and 5 back-to-back, maybe even with Michael Bay directing them again despite earlier saying he was done with the franchise.
Even more surprising is the possibility of Jason Statham as the new lead. This would be bad news for the Decipticons, who keep in mind were 0-3 even when the Autobots were led by that nebbish little Jew.
(source = latino review)
‘Transformers: Dark of the Moon’, has been out for 8 full days now, and it’s still doing incredible business, unless of course you compare it to ‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen’. At this point, ‘Fallen’ had made $239 million at the box office, while ‘Dark of the Moon’ now sits at $198. That’s a drop of around $41 million.
It would be overly simplistic to say this is all because Megan Fox was replaced by Rosie Huntington Whitely, but complicated theories are for fags, so that’s what I’m going to say.
Not only is Fox (seen here in her brand new Armani campaign) a thousand times hotter than Whitely, but now we’re expected to believe Sam Witwicky has dated two international supermodels in a row, which is somehow the dumbest premise even in a movie about fights between shape-shifting robots from outer space.
No doubt fueled by it’s juvenile cheap shots at Megan Fox (like Shia telling his parents he “moved on to something better” or one of the robots saying his last girlfriend was “mean”), ‘Transformers 3’ had the biggest opening day of 2011 and is doing incredibly well by any definition.
Unless you compare it to the opening day for ‘Transformers 2’, the one with Megan Fox, in which case it’s an embarrassing failure.
E! cites this list of the all time opening days on Box Office Mojo and says…
In its first full day in theaters, Transformers: Dark of the Moon grossed an estimated $37.3 million, good for sixth place on the list of all-time Wednesday openers.
But as you’ll notice, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is in second place, with a far bigger, far fatter $62 million debut.
And that’s despite the fact that 60 percent of ticket sales were for 3D, where average ticket prices are $10.85 and $14.85 for IMAX, as compared to the $7.50 they paid to see the second one.
It’s also despite the fact that ‘Dark of the Moon’ is actually pretty good. I’m as amazed as anyone but I liked it. The good news is they can still match the weekend total for ‘Revenge of the Fallen’, as long as they consider a weekend to be 17 days long.
(image source = splash)
By brendon June 28, 2011 @ 10:49 AM
Shia LaBeouf has an interview in the new issue of Details, and it’s a revelation for no other reason than I had no idea that Details magazine still exists. But it does apparently, and they asked Shia if he and Megan Fox ever did it while filming the first two ‘Transformers’ movies.
Asked if he hooked up with Fox, LaBeouf nods affirmatively. “Look, you’re on the set for six months, with someone who’s rooting to be attracted to you, and you’re rooting to be attracted to them,” he explains. “I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation. But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry onscreen.” When I inquire about Fox’s status at the time with her longtime boyfriend, Brian Austin Green, LaBeouf replies, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. . . .”—repeating the phrase exactly 12 times with various intonations, as if trying to get it just right. Finally, he says, “It was what it was.”
This might seem somewhat plausible because Megan married Brian Austin Green, so it’s not like she’s all that selective, but I don’t believe him because she’s been famous for a long time and you almost never hear any stories about her sleeping around. And also the idea of fucking Megan Fox is so wonderful I can’t believe that anyone gets to do it, much less this doofus. It’s like hearing someone claim they can fly.
(image source of Shia his girlfriend Karolyn Pho last week = fame)