By Matt June 18, 2015 @ 6:44 AM
Tyra Banks posted a photo of herself making a stupid face without any makeup to prove she is Jar Jar Binks. The move was seen as courageous by her fans who have always pictured her career going in the direction of Stephen Curry’s dad. Banks wrote a bunch of stupid shit to go along with it it, as is customary:
You know how people say #no filter but you know there’s a freakin’ filter on their pic? Or maybe there’s a smidge of retouching going on but they’re lying and saying it’s all raw & real? Well, this morn, I decided to give you a taste of the really real me. I wanted to smooth out my dark circles so badly!!! But I was like, “Naw, Ty. Show ‘em the REAL you.” So…here I am. Raw. And there YOU are…looking at me, studying this picture. Maybe you’re thinking, “Whoa, she looks ROUGH.” And if you are, great! You deserve to see THE real me. The really real me. #RawAndReal’”
I need to see the real you like I need a shotgun blast to the face. I didn’t give a shit when you were porking the head of the CW. Why would I now? You wanted to make your face look better but you decided to take a photo instead and get credit for not doing it? Why bring it up then? I was going to run a marathon but I just took of my shorts and snapped a selfie on my pillow. Since when is that an accomplishment. Get out into the world. You can go downwards from Rough.
Photo Credit: Instagram
By Lex December 11, 2014 @ 12:07 PM
Angelea Preston, for whom the entire world of VH-1 and Bravo opportunities commonly available to semi-literate trashy looking woman of color was just opening, insists she was denied her victory in Cycle 17 of America’s Next Top Model because producers and Tyra Banks found out she used to be a paid escort. The show uses the terms Cycles instead of Seasons as the amount of clostridium botulinum, cake makeup, and clear booze consumed on set has caused all the contestants and production crew to be in constant state of menstruation. Everything is shot from the ankles up so you don’t see the blood clotting on the otherwise fabulous shoes.
Preston’s $3 million lawsuit claims even though the final aired show didn’t reveal her to be the winner of Cycle 17, she was told by producers she had won and would be taking home the prize package of $100K plus a set of chlamydia soaked silver hairbrushes. Then it was all swapped out in post-production when her secret sex for hire past was discovered. Discovering a contestant on ANTM used to be a whore involves the painstaking process of asking them ‘Hey, what did you do before this, and be honest?’ Had she merely taken bearer bonds or a Guess photo ad in exchange for sex, Preston would’ve bonded with Tyra over war stories and ethanol soaked cotton balls. Preston says she never was told being a prostitute was a deal killer and that no rational person would believe that DQs you from any model or actress related award. That does make sense. Look for this lawsuit to be settled quickly in the manner of Tyra Banks ripping out this chick’s weave, calling her a whore, and pushing her down a flight of stairs. That’s model justice.
By Travis August 01, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Former child rapper and current co-host of BET’s 106 and Park, Bow Wow, welcomed his old friend and generally crazy woman, Tyra Banks, to the show yesterday, and because the two of them don’t have much to talk about, they decided to tell the story of the last time they were on a talk show together. Back in 2009, Bow Wow was a guest on The Tyra Banks Show and he revealed that he had a crush on the then 35-year old model, so she fulfilled his fantasy by rapping with him and letting him kiss her on the lips.
Yesterday, they at least spared us her horrific rapping, but Bow Wow made up for it by acting like he both jizzed and shit his JNCOs. Don’t ever let people tell you that crazy isn’t sexually transmitted.
By Travis July 30, 2013 @ 9:00 AM
Model and talk show host Tyra Banks attended the CW, CBS and Showtime Summer TCA Party in Los Angeles yesterday, and she looked… strange. On one hand, she brilliantly shoved her breasts into a tight dress to make it look like she has two Tyreses ready to pop out at any moment. But on the other hand, her face looks like someone slapped her on the back while she was eating a Sour Patch Kid during a two-week bout of bulimia and now she’s permanently frozen that way.
But, of course, rock beats scissors and giant breasts beat a face so jagged that you could cut a diamond with it, so it’s nice to have you back, Tyra.
Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin, FameFlynet, PCN, Getty
By brendon October 04, 2012 @ 2:38 PM
Tyra Banks tweeted the picture above because she has problems with her body too, and she’s so totally down to earth and cool she wants other women to know that she’s just like them.
Except that when Tyra posts a “real” picture, it’s one taken during a photo shoot, from a flattering angle, by a professional photographer, after hours of hair and makeup.
She could have hashtagged “perfect is boring” on the pictures of her jogging last week, but instead she chose the professional modeling one. You know what’s not boring? Shrieking in horror.
(image source = splash)
By brendon August 08, 2011 @ 12:41 PM
Tyra Banks was also at the Teen Choice Awards last night in LA, because why wouldn’t she be? The kids today love models from the 90′s. That’s why, when it was time to pick an outfit for the big night, she walked right into that Halloween store and bought the finest wig they had.
(image source = getty and wenn)