Uber Mein Fuhrer

By Matt November 21, 2014 @ 6:33 AM

Uber

Uber is facing controversy because their Vice President brought up the idea to hire “Opposition Researchers” to slander journalists who report on all the fucked up shit their company does. He actually didn’t do this on a secret mini-cassette recording but in front of a huge company gathering where a bunch of journalists were invited to drink free booze and suck his dick.

Unfortunately word got out, much like it did about Uber fucking with their drivers’ pay, their policy of calling bogus Lyft rides to sabotage competition, secretly surcharging their customers, and their CEO having a back of the school bus bully face. It should be noted they advocate for super hip spousal abuse and LGBT friendly pension stealing. Suddenly this trendy alternative seems more nefarious than the ornery Taliban guy driving my beat up 1997 LeSabre Yellow Cab. I don’t mean to generalize, this guy was definitely in the Taliban. I’m guessing Uber won’t come after us because this doesn’t technically count as journalism. They may still save the IP address to pump carbon monoxide into the ride we call to our next office party at Shakey’s as part of their next business strategy brainstorming session.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The CEO Of Uber Irritates

By Matt June 19, 2014 @ 3:42 PM

Uber Douche

Uber CEO Travis Kalanick has angered Uber drivers by saying he would replace them with robotic self driving cars. The drivers are now threatening to unionize, which I’m pretty sure is the exact plot of RoboCop. I wonder if these robots are capable of nuanced discussion of the indie music scene, because that’s why I choose Uber over more Taliban aligned companies. Kalanick has one of those faces you just want to sock in the grill. He looks like a frat boy who takes upskirt videos of girls in the cafeteria. Perhaps he was just born that way, but he might consider his punch-face when riling up thousands of dudes trying to make their rent by way of their ’07 Kia.

Photo Credit: Getty Images