Pippa Middleton became world famous when she and her ass upstaged her sisters wedding to Prince William, and now Usher, who has a line of lingerie coming out this summer for some reason, tells Look magazine that he wants Pippa to take most of her clothes off so he can take pictures of her. As if that was some original idea no one else had thought of.
“I don’t think there’s a more beautiful, more stunning, more talked-about woman in the world at the moment.”
“I’m going to be approaching her in the next few weeks and setting up a meeting this summer.”
“The great thing about her is that she would be a global brand. Everybody knows her now, she would be perfect. I am sure everybody is trying to sign her up and she won’t be cheap, but she has the looks and the popularity to really establish a new product.”
And I bet he’s saying that without even having seen these pictures of her in a bikini. And then taking off her bikini top and kind of showing some side boob.
Just for the record, everything that happened between me and these pictures was completely consensual.
Ushers wife almost died on the operating table last week (more here), and everyone handles this type of tragedy differently. Some people sink into a deep depression, others get very pro-active in a “seize the day” type thing. Usher did the kind where you fly to Paris and spray million dollar champagne on a strippers giant titties. It’s unconventional, but look, he does appear to be moving forward. The initial data seems to warrant more investigation.
(image source = fame pictures)
Yesterday Usher was one of the first black celebrities to say anything negative abut Chris Brown putting Rihanna in the hospital. When seen looking at this picture, Usher said…
"I'm a little disappointed in this photo. After the other photo. C'mon, Chris. Have a little bit of remorse, man. The man's on jet skis? Like, just relaxing in Miami?"
But even that was apparently too harsh, and Usher has now issued an apology.
"The comments made during a recent recording session amongst friends were taken out of context and blown out of proportion. I apologize on behalf of myself and my friends if anyone was offended. The intentions were not to pass judgment and we meant no harm. I respect and wish the best for all parties involved."
I don’t happen to know any black people, and I haven't been hearing many black people condemn Brown for what he did, so I went over to Media Take Out. The site takes the controversial position that what Brown did was wrong, but the majority of the readers are too savvy to be fooled by the white media, and they know the truth, specifically that Rihanna beat herself up, she likes being beaten up, she beat him up, she started it, and the TMZ picture is a forgery. They say…
- "tHAT cAN'T bE hIS bLOOD? wE dON'T kNOW wHAT sHE dID 2 hIM…"
- "Oh and looking at her injuries, it doesn't look like she would be bleeding like that. No one knows what she did to Chris Brown. It could be his blood for all we know."
- "Thanks for revealing to everyone in graffic detail that Rhianna likes it rough…"
- "so, think about it folks if he punched her or slapped her you would see knuckles and/or a hand print on her face somewhere. do you see any of this?"
- "I THINK SHE IS HIDING SOMETHING FROM THE MEDIA REGARDING HWY IT REALLY HAPPENED, AND THAT'S WHY SHE DIDN'T GO ALONG WITH THE CHARGES……."
- "that crazy b!tch prolly beat her own self up…"
- "Man that could be from anywhere…..that blood could be from a honda civic!"
It kind of goes on and on like that for a while, and other than the theory about Honda Civics being hemophiliacs, the majority say the same thing, that this story is not a big deal. Another thing I discovered during my investigation is that Chris Brown is a little bitch. I also heard that he lactates, and he acts tough to overcompensate for that and his tiny tiny penis. In fact his penis is so small it's been declared a choking hazard for kids 0-3. True Story!
Usher's wife Tameka Foster Raymond is still in a Brazilian hospital 10 days after suffering what was originally referred to as complications form a routine surgery. In reality it was a heart attack after a risky liposuction procedure. The New York Daily News says…
Raymond's complications could be related to the fact that she gave birth to her second son only two months ago - not four months ago as she reportedly told her surgeon … a patient should only undergo liposuction six to eight months after giving birth.
I’m not technically a doctor, I don’t have a "medical license" whatever that means, but I think a good idea would be to take women directly from the "giving birth room" to the "dramatic plastic surgery room". Because that shit is gross. And doctors are pussies, I bet it’s really not that dangerous. I bet no more than 80 percent have complications. That may sound high, but only the strongest will survive. And then they’ll be hot thanks to surgery. It will be like a master race.
Ushers wife Tameka Foster is still hospitalized after complications from plastic surgery in Brazil, and no one can quite figure out what went wrong, except for the fact that she had plastic surgery in fucking Brazil.
The Brazilian news website G1 reported that Foster was rushed to the Sirio-Libanes Hospital's intensive care unit last Friday after a medical emergency during a liposuction operation.
She had suffered cardiac and respiratory arrest as she was being anesthetized for the cosmetic surgery, it said.
Foster had reportedly been put into an induced coma for 24 hours and was now recovering.
I have a picture in my mind when I think of medical care in Brazil. Try and guess if it’s good. Granted most of what I know about Brazil is what I saw in "City of God", but what kind of lunatic has surgery down there by choice? I would let an American doctor with flippers who was balancing on a ball cut me before I’d even take an aspirin in South America.
(the pics are Usher getting a tat in vegas from mario barth inside mandalay bay)
Usher has a lot to learn about being a celebrity parent. People like JLo auction off pictures of their kids to whatever magazine will pay the most, but Usher says he would never exploit his family for money. Well la-di-da your majesty. Page Six says…
"In no way would I ever pimp out my child for money," Usher told Page Six.
"I am livid that people talk about my child," Usher told us. In fact, he has posed - for free - with his son for an "incredible" Father's Day cover for Essence magazine.
"What makes you a man more than being a father to your child? I recognize I gave anonymity away when I became an artist, but to have people try to paint a horrible picture of what's so beautiful - it's obvious someone is trying to stop something so beautiful."
This is a really provocative story. It made me think, but it also made me smile. Just like "Failure To Launch".
