V. Stiviano Is the Real Victim

By Lex June 02, 2014 @ 11:54 AM

V. Stiviano In A See Through Dress Departing At LAX
If you believe in super convenient coincidences, then you’ll see no connection between the embarrassing video tape of Donald Sterling’s hooker saying black people’s idea of money management is buying super fine rims for their Olds 88′s and her lawyer’s reports of two white dudes roughing her up outside her NYC hotel while hurling n-bombs. V. Stiviano is thought to be Mexican, though during one or two of her multitude of past larceny arrests, she has self-reported her race as black. This dossier could’ve easily confused the bungling white actors who staged this fight that V. Stiviano didn’t mention in the police report she never filed. Given that V. Stiviano and her visor are now a victim of an undocumented and unwitnessed racial hate crime, it only seems fair we forget the spinners comment, her illicit taping of her elderly mark, and her latest unfortunate choice of attire. I pray Steve Ballmer at least has an open mind when he hears her pitch on why she should keep her job with the Clippers.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

V. Stiviano Adopted Two Cambodian Boys While She Was With Donald Sterling

By Travis May 07, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

V Stiviano and her adopted baby daddy

Because it was simply the right time for her to do it, V. Stiviano finalized the adoption process for two young Cambodian boys who she had been fostering for several years, according to Radar. Donald Sterling’s mistress met the boys when she was working for the LA County District Attorney, but now that she’s got that NBA owner coin in her bank account – the same coin that has her being investigated for extortion – V was able to get the whole deal done and bring those kids home to live with her for good.

Actually, she can’t bring them home yet, because there are photographers and reporters constantly camped out at her home to ask her about how the phone conversation that she recorded of Donald saying racist things was leaked at a time when she was being sued by his wife, and why she suddenly wants everyone to know that he’s not racist and is really hurting right now. But aside from the constant media attention and any lawsuits and further scrutiny she faces over this, the social worker who gave this woman control over two children really did a fantastic job.

Photo Credit: Getty

V. Stiviano Isn’t the First

By Lex May 02, 2014 @ 12:11 PM

V. Stiviano Takes Her Pet Turtle For A Walk Outside Her House In Los Angeles
Donald Sterling isn’t the first guy with Colonial-era views on race to really love himself some young women of color. In a not very surprising bit of news, it turns out The Other Donald has been boning young Spanish chicks before, buying them houses and expensive gifts, only to have his wife come clean shit up with lawsuits against the gold diggers. Ten years ago, she filed suit against the daughter of an immigrant Taco Bell worked named Alexandra Castro for:

“luring wealthy, older men in to her web of deceit by offering them economic opportunities, then sexual favors and then attempts to fleece them and their assets.”

That only sounds familiar because it’s about the exact same language she used to sue V. Stiviano. I guess it sucks to know that no matter how much Botox you shoot into your lily white, um, face, your old racist husbands is out in the plantation worker housing banging the caramel colored girls each evening. But you’ve still got hold on that money and you can’t just let the young Mexican ho’s come in and take what’s been promised to you. I get that, Shelly. I stand by you, even if you smell like old carpet.

Here’s V. Stiviano in a see-through outfit walking her pet turtle trying not to get attention…

Photo Credit: INFphoto.com, Pacific Coast News

V. Stiviano Doesn’t Want Attention

By Lex April 30, 2014 @ 2:48 PM

V. Stiviano Wears Her Visor To Dinner With Her Posse In Los Angeles
I’ve noticed that the intellectually challenged tend to confuse infamy with fame and their fifteen minutes related therein. Now that the press has been digging into the background of the chick who was boning Donald Sterling for cash and prizes, we’re learning more about this innocent victim of a racist old horny plantation owner. For instance, her real name is Maria Perez, but she changed her name legally to V. Stiviano a couple years ago because she told the court she was ‘born of rape’. I don’t know if she means like Freddy Krueger one-thousand mental patients kind or just plain old fashion drunken forceful daddy kind. Either way, it seems like the appropriate motivation to change your name to something really arcane and stupid and difficult to pencil into the SATs you never took. It turns out V. is not 24, she’s 31, and she secured about $2.5 million in gifts from The Other Donald during her three years of squeezing his crinkly tube after Murder She Wrote. Sterling’s wife Rochelle is suing trying to get the condos and Bentleys back claiming V. fellated a senile old man into the big gifts and engaged in…

“…conduct designed to target, befriend, seduce, and then entice, cajole, borrow from, cheat and/or receive as gifts transfers of wealth from wealthy older men whom she targets for such purpose.

I guess Rochelle never followed the Anna Nicole Smith case. America has a long history of young girls using their feminine wiles to get square off old man sponge bathes. Everybody has kind of agreed that upscale hooking is a no-givebacks kind of deal. V. probably taped her octogenarian meal ticket spouting his progressive views on black men in order to protect herself from having to give back her fancy toys. I guess when Rochelle told her I don’t give a fuck about your secret tapes, that condo by the beach belongs to me, bitch, V. decided just to sell the recordings to TMZ for a little weekend spending cash. Now she’s got the visor to hide her face while her glam whore posse wears her name on their hats to build her Q rating. Eventually, V. Stiviano will get hit by a bus because even Jesus gets tired of scheming bitches after a few good chuckles at human frailty.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

V. Stiviano Boned Donald Sterling, Now She’s in Daft Punk

By Lex April 29, 2014 @ 12:37 PM

V. Stiviano Hides Her Face With A Visor Outside Her House In Los Angeles
Who is Vanessa Stiviano? Or, V. Stiviano, because she lacks imagination in the nicknaming department. Why would you ask who a 24-year old aspiring not so hot model who’s fucking an 81-year old douchebag married sports team owner is? You know the answer. You don’t need a Southern preacher to shout out the word ‘whore’. And she’s a disloyal whore at that. When the trust is gone in the hooker-John relationship, what’s left? Okay, the fucking and the sucking. But the intimacy an old man craves as his young paid sex worker is milking is crinkly johnson is no longer. V. Stiviano has served the cause of people who get off on being outraged . But I can tell you she’ll never hook in this town again. Not with her Yelp rating.

And, yeah, I see her Donald t-shirt. And, yeah, I see she’s pretending to not want to be noticed while still craving attention. Why don’t you write me a fucking note now about how the media should all ignore her and make her go away.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Donald Sterling’s Girlfriend Probably Wants Money

By Travis April 28, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

While Clippers owner Donald Sterling continues to be the most hated man in America, even more hated than he had been for the last several decades for being a reportedly racist asshole, more and more information about his young model girlfriend or mistress, V. Stiviano, is revealing what her true motives really are. After TMZ released audio of Donald telling V that he didn’t want her bringing black people to Clippers game – she can have sex with them, but bringing them to a basketball game is just crossing the line – there is now another report that she has at least 100 hours of recorded conversations, and Donald asked her yesterday what it’s going to take to just “make this go away.” The answer, which may shock you until you shit your pants in disbelief, is money. It’s going to take a lot of money. And once Donald has cut a check to V, it will finally have all gone away, and none of us will ever remember that time that he told his girlfriend he didn’t want black people at his games and then told everyone the recording was doctored, because he would never say such things. In fact, it’s already fading from my memory how racist Donald Sterling is.

Photo Credit: V. Stiviano Instagram