By Lex September 20, 2014 @ 9:44 PM
Way to fuck up my Saturday night. But, hell, for a chance to see Hope Solo wizard sleeves that even Gandalf would find overblown, not to mention disgusting, I can put down the absinthe.
Another round of celebrity photos borrowed from the iCloud which runs about as safe as those old Western banks Butch and Sundance used to rob with a smile was dispersed onto the Internet via the Chans and Reddit re-feeds today. I had thought the FBI was going whole hog after these insidious hacker beasts who are revealing the last inch of skin on these celebrities they don’t already show themselves on social media. Still, it’s rude. Let’s all admit it’s wrong too. A bloody flagellation couldn’t hurt either to cleanse our souls of the sin of stolen tits.
Here’s what I saw. Emily Ratajkowski has amazing tits and likes to finger her pink. Lake Bell has equally amazing tits and if one more person calls her butterface I’m going to Ray Rice them in an elevator. Who cares. Vanessa Hudgens is emotionally incapable of learning a lesson about taking naked photographs of herself. Gabrielle Union is over 40 but her tits don’t look a day over 35. Hope Solo could use an hour of the Epilady around the anus. Kaley Cuoco is not as be-all end-all as nerds think. I have no clue who AJ Michalka is, but she could earn a quick million from an Arab emirate who loves to titty fuck. And, finally Kim Kardashian almost certainly leaked her own topless selfies just to be part of the media blitz.
That’s not a bad Saturday night. Certainly better than the Sunday morning whence will come the horrific rants about the end of the world since in 2014 men suddenly started unwanted peeking girls in the shower. If nothing else, Sarah Lawrence gets some new inter-sessions hot seminar topics so this works out well.
Like I wouldn’t give you the fucking links. I’m not your high school girlfriend reveling in your blue balls.
Looks like almost the entire set on DrunkenStepfather (Now Gone)
And Kim Kardashian and others also here on DS
Some on Reddit
More on private Fappening subs
Don’t blame me when they go dark because you were too slow. I’ll update as I can. Which means not soon. I’m not your fucking Internet butler.
By Lex August 25, 2014 @ 12:07 PM
In an incredibly pointless interview in Flaunt magazine, Vanessa Hudgens unburdens herself of a high school experience made rough by constantly missing school for tryouts and small acting roles. Sometimes when we watch the artistry of a teen Disney show it’s easy to forget all the personal sacrifice and casting call room molestations that went into that bit of taped magic. Vanessa says she intentionally tried to make herself ugly and unattractive to boys in high school to avoid any cause for attention:
I mean, I went through a period where I shopped at Hot Topic. I didn’t want guys to look at me. But it made things easier.
I’m sure the people at Hot Topic will be thrilled to learn they are the go-to store for girls who want to look asexual and unattractive. I just wore Sears Husky jeans and got the same social outcome. At some point, everything paid off for Vanessa as she landed her big role in High School Musical and shortly thereafter got wasted and showed the world her vagina and then threatened to sue the shit out of those of us who refused to pretend that didn’t happen. You’re pretty standard coming of age story. She really needs some fake work projects so fashion magazines can ask her about that stuff instead.
Photo Credit: Flaunt
By Lex June 25, 2014 @ 12:59 PM
Photo Credit: Vanessa Hudgens/Instagram
By Lex June 11, 2014 @ 10:03 AM
Photo Credit: INFphoto.com
By Lex June 06, 2014 @ 12:52 PM
It’s tough on people who peak in high school. They’re barely shaving and their glory days are already behind them. I feared Vanessa Hudgens was like that. When she was getting loaded and flashing her snatch on camera at eighteen, I thought, man, she will never be more accomplished than she is right now. And for a good long while, that seemed true. But then she started getting herself parts in movies as the stripper, the bikini bad girl with a gun, the bikini bad girl with a gun again, the stripper a couple more times, and I knew those twat-flashing selfies days were just a primer for the reinvention of Vanessa Hudgens. You can go home again, especially if you’re paying your moms rent.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Travis May 22, 2014 @ 10:00 AM
There are probably a million other girls just like Vanessa Hudgens in this world, girls who can sort of act and sing and are pretty attractive, but not getting any younger. Since it can all go away in the blink of an eye for someone who is so easily forgettable and even easier to replace, Vanessa has to really work hard to make sure that we spend at least 10 seconds thinking about her, when the movie roles seem to be few and far between for her lately. So she did the easiest thing imaginable and posted a sports bra selfie on Instagram, and that immediately makes her better than almost every girl on the planet for the next 10 seconds. Even if she’s making a face like she just clogged the toilet and doesn’t know how to stop the shit water from spilling all over your bathroom floor, she’s still great for another 3, 2…