I HATE YOU - Even though everyone knew it was going to suck, “G.I. Joe” made over $100M this weekend. If there was any doubt before, this is undeniable proof that people in this world are mostly stupid. (source = variety)
DANE COOK - got boo’d at the Teen Choice Awards after he said to Vanessa Hudgens, “Girl you got to keep your clothes on!” It wasn’t clear if the crowd was supporting Vanessa, or if even little kids have figured out that screaming the set-up line and then moving on is not the same thing as telling an actual joke. (source = radar)
MASCHA VANG - is a Dutch model who wore a bikini to the beach in LA this weekend, and that’s more than enough to get on Tyler. She’s also apparently a “sex expert”, though I have no idea what that might mean in this case. When guys are sex experts, it usually means they’re clinical psychologists. Girl sex experts are usually just sluts with a bunch of piercings who wanted to be on TV. (hq jump here. source = fame)
Vanessa Hudgens leapt from “High School Musical” and into my heart two years ago when naked pictures she took for boyfriend Zac Efron ended up online (fall in love all over again here). I have no idea what the back story is to these brand new pics that leaked this morning, but luckily there’s not a single person on earth who cares for the time being, so that worked out nicely.
SEXY UPDATE - added two more full size and there are six more that are little more than thumbnails, so I patched them together, poorly. and for the record, she’s 20, turns 21 on december 14th. she was 18 when the last ones were taken, so don’t freak out on me.
UNSEXY NEW UPDATE - according to her lawyers, the pictures are a violation of Vanessa’s right to privacy and posting them was illegal because it was “a publication of private facts.” Which is the worst euphemism I’ve ever heard for “tits”.
Two years ago, “High School Musical” star Vanessa Hudgens was in the news because full-frontal naked pictures she took for boyfriend Zac Efron ended up online. Like at the bottom of this post for example. And today there’s good news for fancy gentleman like myself who have studied every inch of those pictures as if they were the Shroud of Turin. E! says:
…in May, the 20-year-old told E! News she would “show nudity in a film when the time is right.” Apparently, that time is now.
Supposedly, she told the U.K.’s Metro she’ll be stripping down for her role as a hooker in the upcoming Zack Snyder flick, Sucker Punch.
“I’m playing a character named Blondie and it’s set in a brothel in the 1950s, so there’s not a whole lot of clothes,” she teased.
None of this is really “news” of course, I just like looking at those naked pictures she took. It’s like I’m her secret lover.
I guess I owe Andy Sambeg an apology. Bruno dropped his nuts in Eminens face and then Andy came on. Andys approach to improv appears to be this: Don’t. Don’t say anything. Just act like the moment that will be the stuff of award show legend for the next 20 years didn’t happen. Just pretend like you we’re looking at something else, over there, where nothing funny was happening.
Instead of getting Samberg to host this show, MTV should have gotten a homeless guy to blow his nose in his hand and then wipe it on my shirt. After that just scroll the winners names across the screen. There’s no way that could be any worse and it probably would have saved everyone a lot of money.
ZAC EFRON - is considering breaking up with Vanessa Hudgens because he’s being told, “When people see them together, they think of their characters.” As in from “High School Musical”. Another way to change his image would be to rant about how the Jews control the banks. They do, you know. I’ve got some stuff you should read. (source = star magazine)
LILY ALLEN - says that “Britain’s Got Talent” sensation Susan Boyle is overrated, and that 12-year-old Shaheen Jarfagholi should win (relevant videos over here). More importantly, how come we’re stuck with Paula Abdul and they get hot-ass Amanda Holden. Every time I see Amanda I wanna punch Paula. I’d rather “Idol” switch to footage from a truck stop toilet than go to Paula after every song. (source = daily mail)
SHAUNA SAND - for the second time today, the “star” of a set of pictures from Miami Beach has been overshadowed (this time by the random topless chick) but if you need to describe these Shauna pics to a coworker, stumble back and point at the monitor and say, “OHMY FUCKINGGOD WHATISTHAT?!” (source = mavrix and splash. jump to hq here)
Vanessa Hudgens wore a baggy mans shirt and seemingly nothing else at a nursery (plants not kids) in LA yesterday, and it’s probably safe to say that if photographs had closed-captioning, like from a narrator or something, it would just be 2 minutes of grunting sounds and the occasional, “yeah, yeah you're a naughty girl, aren't you?”
(image source = pacific coast)
