By Lex May 19, 2014 @ 3:53 PM
It’s well established through urban legend, porn plot #178, and office gossip that bachelorette parties are far wilder than you’re typical guys bachelor parties. By the time men get to bachelor parties, they’re just doing mostly the same shit they’ve done a dozen times before, only without a wet blanket future in law tag-along. Even the Hangover movie series couldn’t get past number one without running out of ideas. But when women start going shot for shot and the estrogen strands uncoil, millions of years of repressed gatherer urges come to the forefront and greased up male genitalia starts getting snapped back and forth like a tether ball. None of that shit seems to be happening yet on the yacht Vanessa Hudgens hooked up in Miami for Ashley Tisdale’s bachelorette party. The two have been good friends since High School Musical days when they bonded over the challenge of being only seventeen and already having promised to take Zac Efron’s secret to the grave. I’d like to be around when these hot midgets uncork the booze after sunset and start grousing about the double standards women must endure in society. I’ve seen porn plot #178. I do know what happens next. I can handle the subjugation.
Photo credit: FameFlynet / Splash News
By Lex May 07, 2014 @ 4:16 PM
When you’re the 126th top grossing film of the year, there’s going to be pressure to create a sequel. Even without the original writers, director, and at least half the cast, Spring Breakers will likely be getting a sequel. If you missed it the first time, it was another freaky pedo-leaning Harmony Korine art house film where his young wife got naked with a bunch of other topless girls in bikinis while really fucking annoying house music played throughout like Paris Hilton was DJing the score. He got James Franco riffing in the film, and Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Benson to swear and run around in bikinis and guns and almost show their tits, so it was worth a watch. But a sequel? This might taint the sanctity of the sequel that Hollywood holds dear, with only 95.7% of sequels either being completely unnecessary, sucking horrible, or both. Transformers excluded, naturally. We need the world to buy more fucking Dodges. Nevertheless, if Selena Gomez takes her top off, I’m in for twelve bucks. I know I’ll be disappointed, but at least I’ll have a honorable explanation for why I went.
Photo Credit: Spring Breakers
By Lex February 06, 2014 @ 2:22 PM
Vanessa Hudgens has come a long way from spreading her legs for naked selfies to hiding beneath big stupid hats when out in public. I still recognize you, Vanessa. Your smile reminds me of your vagina from the time when you were more interesting and had cooler friends.
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News, FameFlynet
By Lex January 03, 2014 @ 11:44 AM
Photo Credit: PCN, FameFlynet
By Travis December 24, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Not every celebrity is feeling the holiday spirit like the gentle angel that is Chris Brown, as Vanessa Hudgens looked like she’d received a lump of coal in her stocking while she was out jogging in Hollywood yesterday. Is she sad because she’s kind of unremarkable unless she’s playing trashy characters? Or is she sad because nobody’s really paying attention to her except for one random photographer? Whatever the source of her sadness may be, I think I speak for all of the happy boys and girls on Christmas Eve when I say that the solution is always a sex tape.
Photo Credits: WENN.com
By Travis October 04, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
Vanessa Hudgens showed up to ULTA’s “Donate with a Kiss” event in New York City last night to help raise money for the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, and I guarantee at least one guy (or maybe woman) at the event looked at her, elbowed the guy next to him and said, “I’d research those breasts.” But with all of these charity events for breast cancer and all of the money raised, why is it that we never hear about any big breakthroughs in curing or treating this disease? I’m starting to think this whole thing is about a bunch of guys sitting in a room, staring at breasts, and if that’s the case, I want in 10 years ago.
(Photo Credits: WENN.com)