Vanessa Hudgens is now the new face of Candies (shoes?), and here’s a first look at her new ad campaign. Even though they’re obviously not as good as the naked phone pics she’s sent out on occasion, these are the kind of pictures we’ve been waiting a long time for. And by “we”, I mean me and my penis.
Newly single Vanessa Hudgens celebrated her 22nd birthday this weekend at Pure inside Caesars Palace in Vegas, and that could mean only one thing; lots of pictures of Vanessa looking over her shoulder with that slutty little pout she does. What’s that Vanessa, you want me to stare at your ass? Don’t Mind If I Do!
Vanessa Hudgens is in Hawaii today filming scenes for Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, the first live action movie to ever be shot in Digital 3D. So, to make sure they get their money back, they put Vanessa in a tight shirt and had her run around. That part makes sense, but the movie is about the life of Harriet Tubman, and Vanessa plays Harriet. It seems a little inappropriate.
Vanessa Hudgens went to the premiere for ‘Legend of The Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole’ (if this is a real movie I will eat my fukcin hat because I have never heard of this thing) last night at the Chinese on Sunset, and as always she dressed completely awesome.
It’s not that she dresses slutty, but everything she wears could be taken off in like 2 seconds. You could walk in the house, turn around to close the door, turn back around and she’d be completely naked. She’d just stand there with that sexy little smirk of hers, not saying a word. My penis however would be saying, “ohmygodohmygodohmygod…”.
On Monday I was whining because Jessica Alba, Megan Fox, Scarlett Johannson and others used to make every days pictures a sexy journey of erotic delights, where desire leads to obsession, and obsession leads to madness. I said that wave has pretty much come and gone and no hot new bitch had replaced any of them. But then a few emails suggested Vanessa Hudgens, and luckily they were right.
Right on cue, here she is leaving a gym yesterday with no bra. This bitch is sexy, and she has really pretty skin. I bet she’d be really flattered to know that if I were a serial killer, she’d be my first choice to skin and make a dress out of. Oh that’s right, Vanessa. Number 1.
Pulitzer and 4-time Tony winning play ‘Rent’ began a run this week in LA at the Hollywood Bowl, directed by the annoyingly versatile Neil Patrick Harris and starring Nicole Scherzinger, Wayne Brady, and a guy who looks like Jermaine O’Neal back when he played for the Pacers. But the real star is Vanessa Hudgens and her ass.
Not only does she look great (holyfuckingshit) but she’s getting good reviews. Variety wrote, “Vanessa Hudgens gains points for holding nothing back in her high-octane singing and erotic dancing ordinarily not seen outside the confines of a gentlemen’s club.” And the LA Times said, “there’s no telling how good she might be on stage with more experience.”
My goodness, who would have thought Vanessa was gonna be the real thing? Me, that’s who. That’s why the Vanessa sex doll I made has brushable hair and 3 working orifices.