Serena and Venus Williams Are Spatting

By Matt September 12, 2014 @ 11:25 AM

Serena

Spotty Page Six evidence suggests Venus Williams is angry with Serena because she has been partying and has friends. They have not been seen together in weeks, neither has mentioned one another on social media, and Serena has regularly skipped their traditional morning rock smashing sessions. Serena has also missed some press appearances because she was hung over after having one Mojito and also sprinting around in the sun for six hours. If Venus is really freezing out her sister for socializing, that’s pretty cold. If you have the discipline to build your body into a He Man worthy vein popping testosterone factory, you’ve earned the right to slam back some whiskey like a real man. Tennis victories become less of a thrill when your trophy case is a football-field sized hangar at JFK and your biceps require you to register with the local authorities as a tranny assassin. Everybody needs their kicks from somewhere. The three homeless men Serena keeps bound inside her kegel clenched vagina is no longer enough. Back off, Venus, or feel the wrath of Serena’s bench press.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

ESPN’s 2014 Body Issue For All Your Naked Prince Fielder Needs

By Lex July 09, 2014 @ 8:12 AM

Venus Williams Nude And Covered In ESPN's 2014 Body Issue
Call this the parade of women who can kick your ass. I don’t know who most of them are, but ESPN got them all to pose in contorted nudity to glorify the female body without showing any female parts. Not exactly classical Greek standards, but it meets the U.S. advertising restrictions of no nipples, no bush while showing off glutes and pecs and biceps and other things certain dudes like about muscular women. ESPN is better at sports coverage than S.I. so it makes sense than in the reverse they’d be worse at producing a big annual issue of hot women. If you can muddle past Prince Fielder without his clothes on¬†you can see a United Colors of Benetton assortment of pretty good looking ladies with and without their natural limbs. I guess the lesson here is that if you’re a professional athlete and you train six hours a day, you will have a pretty stellar body. I feel like I could have picked up on that factoid without being subjected to Prince Fielder’s bare gunt.

Photo Credit: ESPN