Vida Guera had a party at Vanguard in LA last night to celebrate her 35th birthday. If you don’t know, Vida was Kim Kardashian before Kim Kardashian was, and Vida was actually way better at it, but Vida didn’t make a sex tape so now Kim is famous and she’s not. The lesson here is obvious. It’s time to slay that dragon named Dignity and start suckin. If that last part wasn’t clear, it might help to know that I was pointing to my crotch with both hands when I said it.
(after these pics are her a few years ago in the Greatest. Dress. Ever. image source = pacific coast news)
Vida Guerra hit the beach in Miami yesterday, and I’ve never found her to be especially attractive, but at least she doesn't hide from who she is. She’s a model famous for having a big ass, so by golly, she went out and she showed off her ass. I think maybe I’m just intimidated by a big ass. If she were on her hands and knees and I was behind her I can’t swear I could find where my penis goes. My aim sucks anyway. It takes me ten minutes to put a pillow in a pillowcase for christs sake, so me finding a two inch slit hidden behind her donkey ass would be an accomplishment on par with the steam engine.
(picture source = splash news)
