One of the most famous things Jimmy Fallon ever did on SNL was the ‘I Wish It Was Christmas Today’ sketch with Horatio Sanz, Chris Kattan and Tracy Morgan. Fallon has of course moved on to replace Conan at 11:30, and now he can do the same kind of thing but with the Roots for a band and Julian Casablancas of the Strokes on lead vocals. And so last night that’s what he did. It probably makes a lot more sense if you’re high. So go get stoned and watch this again. Awesome now, right?
(PROBABLY ILLEGAL FOR SOME QUEER REASON UPDATE - download an mp3 version of the song here)
Dr. Cyril Wecht is just about as famous a forensic pathologist can get. He’s the Lebron James of pathologists, the only difference being the quality of pussy I assume they get.
Although not directly involved with the Brittany Murphy case, he told CBS News today there’s little doubt in his mind about what killed her, despite the early reports claiming she died of natural causes.
“When you have a 32-year-old person dying suddenly … you can place your bet down that it’s going prove to be a case of acute combined drug toxicity.
I guarantee you that, if the pathologists at the Los Angeles coroner’s office had found something dramatic, like a heart attack, like a stroke, or like something of a definitive nature, would you have heard about it. The fact that they say that they’re going wait for toxicology tests and it will take a couple of months, you can be sure that this is going to prove to be a case of acute combined drug toxicity.”
Toxi City would be a good name for a rave club or something. Which reminded me of Brittanys song with Paul Oakenfold. It’s actually really good if you like that kind of music. So it’s okay if you do. You don’t have to act tough to impress me. I love you no matter what.
An interview aired today in New Zealand that is reportedly one of the last Tiger Woods gave before his car crash, and it’s gonna do anything but help. Just 8 days before the National Enquirer exposed his affair with Rachel Uchitel, which subsequently led to 13 other women saying they had affairs with Woods, he said, “Having a family has been great, actually, the best thing that ever happened.” And when asked about his priorities in life, asked if it’s “family first, golf second”, Tiger says, “Always, always.”
To be fair, he didn’t say which family. Maybe he has too much love in his heart for just one family, for just his wife and kids. He’s able to love lots of families. Specifically their daughters.
Comedy is subjective and everyone has different taste, but if you don’t think Zach Galifianakis is a genius than you’re an idiot and I hate you and you owe me, and to a lesser extent Zach, an apology. People think he’s just a comedian and rapper, but he’s a good dancer and has a smoky yet beautiful singing voice. My only complaint is that he doesn’t do more movies. If he were in a movie being released on blu-ray today, the most successful comedy of all time for example, I’d rush to the store and buy it right now, and you’d be a damn fool not to do the same.
Back in May, porn star and Tiger Woods side piece Holly Sampson did an internet interview, and you can forget about any coy allusions to sex with this one, because when asked if she’d ever had sex with someone famous, she just blurted Tigers name right out. Sports By Brooks says…
“I f—– Tiger Woods. … Me and my girlfriends did a bachelor party for Tiger and it was amazing. And then he picked me to go in the room. I have to say he was really good.”
“I think it’s pretty amazing. He’s like the whitest black boy you’ve ever met. His teeth are perfect and he’s the perfect gentleman. He’s beautiful.”
Sampson also confirmed performing oral sex on Woods and that he used a condom.
“It was pretty simple, straight up sex. He’s got a lot to protect himself from too. I think he would probably die if he knew I was telling this on the internet but that’s okay, I don’t care. It was fun, it’s not like it was any big mystery.”
She was so cavalier about the whole thing, she even mentions Kevin Costner first, then Tiger. For his sake, I hope she did it with Costner just minutes earlier, because otherwise Tiger came in a distant second. Even being at the same party as Kevin Costner would be embarrassing, much less when that party is in some porn stars vagina. Tiger should pray his house falls down on top of him tonight before this gets any more embarrassing.
(WARNING - the video above has very NSFW language. better copy of the video on Naughty Americas website)
The photo shoot that Lindsay Lohan did for Muse magazine, the one that showed her tits a few times (this one), now has a slightly NSFW video. Though it’s not clear why. It just looks like an ad for something. Abstinence, to be specific.
But if you’ve been searching for a video that shows the spread of disease set to dreamy music, your quest has come to an end, my friend.
