Things like this clip from last night are proof that most people in the world are essentially stupid. Kimmel is better than Letterman. Opie and Anthony are better than Stern. ‘Always Sunny…’ is the best show on TV. All these people should be number 1 and they’re not and if I knew who was responsible for this outrage I would go to that place, throw a smoke grenade inside their window and then punch everyone as they ran out the door.
Melissa Joan Hart should have known better than to get sassy with Jimmy Kimmel. The only way he could have owned her any more is if the stage she was standing on had a trap door and he dropped her into a pool of sharks.
As the camera panned around between rounds Saturday night at UFC 104, play-by-play man Mike Goldberg said a quick word about the celebrities on hand, including Turtle and Ari from ‘Entourage’. And after he did, the great Joe Rogan explained all the things that make ‘Entourage’ so cool. In other words, Joe pretended like he didn’t hear Mike, and didn’t say a GD thing (I tacked on his Demi Moore line at the end of the video because it was awesome).
Joe is right of course because ‘Entourage’ sucks, and 100 percent of the people who think it’s cool are fuckin idiots. Case closed. I don’t care what else you like or what else you do, watching that is proof that you’re essentially retarded. It would be like you were on eHarmony, and a guys profile said:
- Funny
- Loves to sail
- Gourmet chef
- Has sex with little boys
- A terrific dancer
Did you notice how number 4 kind of out-weighed everything else? It would be the same if he wrote “loves Entourage”. Except the things the pedophile watched would probably have better jokes.
‘Avatar’ is one of the most talked about and anticipated movies in recent memory, and I don’t know if that’s true or not but most articles about event movies start with some faggity and meaningless sentence like that one and so here we go. Directed by the great James Cameron, his first movie since ‘Titanic’ has only had one short trailer until now but today a much longer one is in theaters. It won’t go online until next Thursday, so until then you can watch this bootleg.
It’s a little dark, so I recommend leaving little notes around the house telling your girlfriend that you love her. That won’t brighten the trailer any, but it might get you a blowjob, during which you won’t care about some outer-space monkey-man movie.
BLANK SCREENED UPDATE - yeah Fox is pulling these down as fast as they find them, if you hadn’t guessed.
It seems like ‘the Wolfman’ was filmed years and years ago, but now it’s finally wrapped up and last night a second trailer arrived. Benecio Del Toro is the Wolfman of course, and Anthoiny Hopkins plays his father. Presumably the movie explains how Anthony Hopkins, who looks like Santa, begat Benecio Del Toro, who sounds like mumbly BumbleBee man.
But even better than a trailer is this World Exclusive clip given to me by one of my inside Hollywood sources. WARNING: HEAVY SPOILERS. Come back here when you’re done.
Okay are you back? Awesome right? Talk about action. And the effects! I guess this is a rough cut so there’s still some polish to do but I was still pretty scared.
I know that all the cool kids think Katie Holmes sucks, but those kids are clearly queer because she’s terrific looking. And today the Sun UK agrees with me, saying she’s “back to her breast”. Actually I don’t know what the hell that means but she wore a sheer shirt the other night in New York and I assume the two are related. Also related is how awesome she looked topless in ‘the Gift’ (video evidence here if you forgot). I think if people remembered that movie, they would respect her more. They would get down on one knee as she passed them on the street, and only speak of her in hushed whispers. “There she is. The one with the titties.”
A new clip from ‘Twilight: New Moon’ went live on iTunes today, and … umm … what happened? Am I thinking of something else? Wasn’t this about vampires? Are we starting over? I’m not gonna watch it either way so they can be wolves now if they want, but since when are wolves the size of school busses? And did his pants just rip apart? Well, then … what happens … when … ahhhh! What in the hell is going on!
