As you listen to the television producers of ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ feed lines and direction to Khloe Kardashian, telling her what to say and think and do during her own wedding, keep in mind this is supposed to be a real person during a “reality” show. It feels like you could spin her around and find a little panel in her back because she’s a robot. That’s a dumb idea of course, but it makes at least as much sense as thinking that big moose is a human girl from earth.
ANNOYING UPDATE: this audio was originally on TMZ but now it’s down everywhere, so here’s a transcript of what was said. You’re just gonna have to take my word on it.
WOMAN: And I also wanna get that Bruce and Khloe beat, where Khloe tells Bruce that she thinks…she considers him a real dad(*).
MAN: I think that should happen, like, literally right before they walk down the aisle, don’t you think?
WOMAN: I doubt she’s gonna be thinking that right when they walk down the aisle, but when he’s in there with her, after he walks her mom, it can happen.
MAN: Ok, sounds good.
WOMAN: Finally, when Bruce comes up for Khloe – and that’s where you can get your beat, where Khloe says that thing to Bruce – she backpedals just for, like, maybe 10 steps and then let her go because Abby’s gonna pick her coming down the line.
(*) note: her actual real dad, OJ Simpson defense attorney Robert Kardashian, died in 2003.
I’ve been saying for years that the best way to raise awareness for breast cancer is to show hot girls with big boobs, and if they’re wet well then that’s even better. And now Canadian MTV host Aliya-Jasmine Sovani has done just that in this ad to promote a breast cancer fundraiser.
She took a good idea and made it even better. Her idea was for her to star in the PSA and have lots of close-ups of her breasts. My idea was to pretend to be the cable guy and install hidden cameras in Katy Perrys shower.
Saturday Night Live announced that new cast member Jenny Slate will not be fired after she said “fuckin” on live TV, during her very first SNL appearance.
While SNL aired live on the East Coast, producers bleeped Slate’s mistake with “freakin’” for West Coast airings.
Still, show executives were less than thrilled about Slate’s slip and had a big meeting after the show.
“It was a very big deal that the F-word hit the air,” the source said. Because the slip up occurred about 12:40 a.m., well after prime time, “SNL” is not expected to face fines from the FCC.
It defies belief that this show is still on the air with Lorne Michaels in charge. They have an army of writers and at best they produce one funny idea a week. This biker chick sketch is so awful and uncomfortable, they might as well have shown a 4 minute montage of little kids being told they have cancer.
Megan Fox is hosting Saturday Night Live this week and she was on Jimmy Fallon last night, and everyone who says she’s a bitch is nuts. Because she’s adorable. On Fallon she talked about not wanting to disappoint anyone on SNL, her fear of public speaking, her phobia about dry paper and even that she’s scared of the dark because there might be ghosts.
She points out (rightfully) that you never know what ghosts are gonna do. They might just float there and be scary, but they might also throw things at you and hurt you. And ghosts can go through walls so you can’t escape. Oh great, now I’m scared too. Thanks a lot stupid Megan Fox!
Some of the experts are saying that Megan Fox is already done and as proof they point out that ‘Jennifers Body’ didn’t make any money. Keep in mind however that the experts never have any idea WTF they’re talking about.
‘Jennifers Body’ didn’t make any money because it sucked, and it sucked because it was written by Diablo Cody. Even with that anchor around it’s neck, ‘Body‘ made 6.9 million on it’s opening weekend. Compare that to ‘Whiteout’, starring Kate Beckinsale. That made 4.9 million. ‘Love Happens’, starring Jennifer Aniston, opened with 8 million. Before that, Aniston starred in ‘Management’. It opened on May 15th, and as of yesterday, it’s made a total of 934,658 dollars. You could have been collecting cans since May 15th and made more than that.
Point being: Look. At. Her. Just look at Megan in this bootleg version of her girl kissing scene from ‘Jennifers Body’. You can find better dialogue in a mentos commercial, and your local weatherman has better special effects, but Megan overcomes it all, she rises up like a Phoenix from the ashes, and takes us on a journey of erotic delights.
Lindsay Lohan has no business at an acting award ceremony of course, so she did not attend the Emmys Sunday night. She is an alcoholic drug-addict however, so she very much did attend the Emmy after-parties, including one at the Chateau Marmont.
When she stumbled out “definitely drunk” around 3:30am, she was in no mood for the paparazzi. As she ducked down to drinkdo drugshave sex with something hide, they asked things like “are yoo a bade influence on your seester?”
Then, as if to answer “yes”, she took a can of Amstel Light and threw it at them. Luckily there just happened to be an open can of beer in her hand, even though she doesn’t drink. Maybe that cars back seat makes Amstel Light. Do they have cars like that? I didn’t think they did but Lindsay doesn’t drink or lie, so it’s the only logical explanation.
