Every single thing Ricky Gervais does is funny, and last night as he presented the Emmy for Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series was no exception. You can just look at him and tell he’s about to do something funny. Just like you can look at someone with their jeans hanging beneath their ass and tell they’re about to break one or more laws, probably upside your ass.
09.16.2009 megan fox is a good actress
When people roll their eyes and make fun of Megan Fox, it’s probably because they’re fat and/or unattractive, and people like that are always real jealous. The truth is, Megan Fox is a good actress. I’m mostly saying that because she’s so hot I would fukk a shoe she wore a month ago, but Roger Ebert is a professional, and he feels the same way.
Fox did her career a lot of good with the two “Transformer” movies, but this is her first chance to really act, and you know what? She comes through. She has your obligatory projectile vomiting scene and somehow survives it, she plays the role straight, and she looks convincing in a blood-drenched dress with her hair all straggly.
The film is directed by Karen Kusama, who in the splendid “Girlfight” (2000) introduced Michelle Rodriguez. She handles this material efficiently and with a certain relish. It’s not art, it’s not “Juno,” it’s not “Girlfight” for that matter, but as a movie about a flesh-eating cheerleader, it’s better than it has to be.
The clip above, from the always great traileraddict.com, is the kissing scene with Megan and the girl from ‘Mean Girls’ whose name I don’t know. If that alone isn’t enough to make you wanna see this, there’s a pretty good chance you might be gay. So you might wanna have that looked at.
09.08.2009 are white women retarded?
If you had told me five years ago that the then brand new Tyra Banks talk show would still be around in 2009, I would have punched you in the stomach then tattled on you for being mean to me. But there she was today, showing off her “real hair” while her studio audience of unemployed loners hooted and hollered as if something were actually happening.
Presumably this episode talked about how women can look good naturally, although you’re forgiven if you missed that point because naturally Tyra looks like complete fucking hell. No one tipped the camera on its side so it could fit her entire forehead into the shot, so depending on what weird face she’s making, she either looks like a Klingon or some kind of light bulb character you might see in a commercial for the electric company.
09.02.2009 What do Beavis and Butthead think?
The Mike Judge movie ‘Extract’ opens this Friday, and by coincidence Beavis and Butthead have posted a video on youtube to talk about it. What lucky timing!
09.01.2009 Whitney Houston really sucks
Whitney Houstons much-publicized concert in Central Park, to be aired tomorrow on ‘Good Morning America’, was cut short today because Oh My God her voice is fuckin terrible. It’s all nasally and deep, like an unconvincing female impersonator. Tyler Perry sounds more like a woman than Whitney does. The Daily News says…
Whitney Houston cut short her much-hyped comeback performance on “Good Morning America” Tuesday after apparently losing her voice.
The Grammy-winning diva got through just three songs from her new album “I Look to You” before apologizing to the 5,000-person crowd for overusing her famous pipes.
“I’m so sorry. I did ‘Oprah.’ I’ve been talking for so long. … I talked so much, my voice,” she said, trailing off.
Yeah that must have been it. It was because she talked to Oprah for an hour. Crack cocaine is filled with vitamins, it’s basically like an herbal tea, so Whitneys decade long drug binge should have only helped. Luckily this concert was free. Actually I think the tickets were free, but 300 dollars if she actually showed up.
09.01.2009 Chris Brown does remember now
Chris Brown is furious today over rumors that he can’t remember the night when he beat the shit out of Rihanna (you better watch your back, rumors. Chris Brown will choke a bitch). He issued a statement to People magazine last night, and this Chris Brown wants to make it clear that he does remember hitting Rihanna, and that the Chris Brown who was on Larry King was lying when he said he didn’t.
“There have been reports on the Internet that I didn’t remember what happened that night with Rihanna. I want to try and set things straight.”
“That 30 seconds of the interview they used of me was taken from a one hour interview during which that same question was asked something like four or five times - and when you look at the entire interview you will see it is not representative of what I said.
“The first four times - or however many times it was - I gave the same answer - which was that I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to talk about what happened that night. I said it was not right for me and it really wasn’t fair to Rihanna. The fifth time - or whatever it was - I just misspoke. I was asked, ‘Do you remember doing it?’ and I said, ‘No.’
There’s little doubt that this kind of interview can be nerve-wracking, so maybe he really did just fumble over his words and say “no” because he didn’t want to go into details. I guess that’s possible. It’s also possible that I nail Megan Fox in the ass before noon today, but the odds of that are 50 percent, at best. Maybe 60, but only because I look especially hot today. In summation, I’m very attractive and this motherfuckers lying. The End.
