Used to be you could be from Paraguay and tell people you were whoever you wanted to be and they had no way of looking you up. But now digital media and a fifth grade knowledge of Spanish has made it impossible to hide from your Paraguayan hooking past. This chick Viviana Figueredo told everybody on the Central American version of Survivor, otherwise known more simply as just Central America, that she was a famous model from Paraguay. It’s possible that big shot model and streetwalker are similar words in Spanish as they are in Los Angeles lingo. Anyhow, she got through the rigorous Central America Survivor cast screening process that includes such tough questions as ‘Will anybody come asking questions if you disappear in the jungle?’ and ‘Does pregnancy by rape disturb you just a tiny bit or a whole lot?’. So now there’s an island in Honduras where out of work Latino actors are trying to build huts and they’re all being distracted by a hot Paraguayan prostitute with shameful secrets in her past. That sounds horrible. Though better than anything ever on U.S. basic cable.
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News