By brendon March 22, 2012 @ 7:28 PM
When Whitney Houston died, the sheep in the media were baffled, and her cause of death was an unsolvable mystery. Some members of her family even suggested she was murdered because she hadn’t done any drugs in over three years, and the only thing she took the night she died was Xanax.
And now the coroner (according to the LA Times) agrees, except he replaced the word “Xanax” with the word “cocaine”.
Whitney Houston died as the result of drowning in what the Los Angeles County coroner has ruled as an accidental death. The coroner said heart disease and cocaine use were also factors.
Cocaine was found in her system, the coroner said.
Authorities collected several bottles of prescription drugs from (the room where Houston died, but) said the amounts did not seem unusually large, leaving it unclear whether the medications had anything to do with the singer’s death.
So, she overdosed. She did coke and it stopped her heart and she drowned. It’s not like she got into the bathtub and drifted off to sleep like a little angel. I don’t know a ton about cocaine but I do know it’s not a sleep aid.
By brendon March 21, 2012 @ 3:41 PM
Ever wanted to watch a middle-aged, former pop star in a stoned haze mumble her way through listless sex? Me neither, but we might be able to anyway, because Ray J (whose penis made it’s national video debut inside Kim Kardashians mouth) is said to have “a ton of sexually explicit photos and videos” starring him and Whitney Houston.
The Houston family has “been in contact with Ray and told him they do not want any photos or videos painting her in a bad light to come out,” the source said, adding the famous family “explained to Ray that now is the time to honor Whitney, not drag her legacy down.”
Um, her “legacy” is that she was a girl born to a family of famous singers, and she sang a few pop songs 20 years ago and then died after pissing away a hundred million dollars on drugs, thus leaving her only daughter nothing but debt and an addictive personality. Making a sex tape actually improves her image. It’s the only worthwhile thing she’s recorded since around 1995.
CONFLICTING UPDATE – as always, TMZ is now saying the exact oppisite of Star, specifically that these tapes don’t exist.
By author March 14, 2012 @ 3:30 PM
Turns out the greatest love of all is between sibling lovers. Well, I should qualify that by saying right off the bat that there’s no blood relation between Bobbi Kristina Brown and Whitney Houston’s “adopted” son, Nick Gordon, so really there’s nothing gross about them having grown up as siblings and now as adults deciding to have sex. Thankfully, Nick took to Twitter to confirm the relationship, via People:
Yea we got a little closer and what!!!… All the haters that dont know us or th real story can’t un follow me. I don’t give a f–k,” he tweeted. “I’ve proved my loyalty to her and the Houston family. I don’t owe any of you anything. Ha I don’t even know y’all haters….Some ppl have no lives so they gotta be in ours,” he said
If by haters, he means people who don’t particularly want to fuck their sister, adopted or otherwise, then I’ll gladly be lumped into that category. You can also put me down for “having no life” because I happen to think it’s interesting and worth talking about when someone decides to reward a celebrity’s kindness by sticking their dick in their only child and posting about it on Twitter. Ma will be so proud, I joined two clubs today! (Also, I didn’t try to bang her daughter. Can’t stress that enough.)
(Image Source = Nick Gordon’s Twitter, Splash News)
By brendon March 07, 2012 @ 7:19 PM
Hopefully Bobby Brown wasn’t expecting any kind of a windfall when Whitney Houston died, because her will was filed today in Atlanta, and Inside Edition says she left literally everything to their 19-year-old daughter.
Bobbi Kristina gets everything: all of Houston’s money, furniture, clothing, personal effects, jewelry, and cars.
The money will be placed in a trust until Bobbi Kristina turns 21. She gets more money when she turns 25 and the rest when she is 30.
But don’t be too jealous, because Whitney, who sold over 200 million records during her career, wasn’t just broke, but $20 million in debt, according to The Daily:
Houston was out of cash in 2001 when she signed what was said to be a $100 million deal with Sony for six albums. While the agreement could have been worth $100 million if things had gone right, Houston only collected about $40 million. “It’s really an advance against sales. They loaned her the money, and her records didn’t sell.”
Based on the meager sales figures, “She owes Sony at least $20 million. She’s going to have to sell 5 million more records before her family sees a dime.”
And that seems unlikely, since ghosts don’t really sing. They pretty much just say “Boo!” Maybe she could do one of those Spooky Halloween Sounds cd’s that you get at Hallmark.
By brendon February 29, 2012 @ 9:04 PM
Target has been forced to pull this greeting card (full size picture here) which is dumb because they started carrying it long before Whitney Houston she died, and especially because it’s even more poignant advice now. She was a fuck-up who made terrible choices. Now she’s dead. An even bigger mystery is what possible occasion would this card be appropriate for? “Hey, hi, Merry Christmas. Hope your new boyfriend doesn’t drown you in a tub.”
By brendon February 29, 2012 @ 5:30 PM
E! says that “Whitney Houstons demise was a tragedy—and a tragic accident at that,” and even though neither of those things are true, her death apparently will be considered an accident. Which only means she didn’t die of natural causes, no one murdered her, and she didn’t deliberately kill herself.
The pop icon’s sudden death on Feb. 11 is expected to be officially ruled an accident, a source with knowledge of the ongoing investigation confirms exclusively to E! News.
And that appears to be just what those close to Houston suspected would happen.
The singer’s family always believed her death was accidental and was not a result of deliberate action taken by Houston—or anyone else, according to the insider.
Not really sure why the family considers this some kind of victory. It’s still extremely likely she took too many pills, blacked out, and then drowned. That’s not a “tragic accident.” That’s a drug addict with a really nice bathtub. Calling her death “sudden” is like this scene in ‘Fletch’. She was an addict for over a decade. The only thing “sudden” was the room vacancy.