Whitney left everything/nothing to her daughter

By brendon March 07, 2012 @ 7:19 PM


Hopefully Bobby Brown wasn’t expecting any kind of a windfall when Whitney Houston died, because her will was filed today in Atlanta, and Inside Edition says she left literally everything to their 19-year-old daughter.

Bobbi Kristina gets everything: all of Houston’s money, furniture, clothing, personal effects, jewelry, and cars.  ?The money will be placed in a trust until Bobbi Kristina turns 21. She gets more money when she turns 25 and the rest when she is 30.?

But don’t be too jealous, because Whitney, who sold over 200 million records during her career, wasn’t just broke, but $20 million in debt, according to The Daily:

Houston was out of cash in 2001 when she signed what was said to be a $100 million deal with Sony for six albums. While the agreement could have been worth $100 million if things had gone right, Houston only collected about $40 million. “It’s really an advance against sales. They loaned her the money, and her records didn’t sell.”
Based on the meager sales figures, “She owes Sony at least $20 million. She’s going to have to sell 5 million more records before her family sees a dime.”

And that seems unlikely, since ghosts don’t really sing. They pretty much just say “Boo!” Maybe she could do one of those Spooky Halloween Sounds cd’s that you get at Hallmark.

Target had to pull this Whitney Houston card

By brendon February 29, 2012 @ 9:04 PM


Target has been forced to pull this greeting card (full size picture here) which is dumb because they started carrying it long before Whitney Houston she died, and especially because it’s even more poignant advice now. She was a fuck-up who made terrible choices. Now she’s dead. An even bigger mystery is what possible occasion would this card be appropriate for? “Hey, hi, Merry Christmas. Hope your new boyfriend doesn’t drown you in a tub.”

Whitney Houstons death was “accidental”

By brendon February 29, 2012 @ 5:30 PM


E! says that “Whitney Houstons demise was a tragedy—and a tragic accident at that,” and even though neither of those things are true, her death apparently will be considered an accident. Which only means she didn’t die of natural causes, no one murdered her, and she didn’t deliberately kill herself.

The pop icon’s sudden death on Feb. 11 is expected to be officially ruled an accident, a source with knowledge of the ongoing investigation confirms exclusively to E! News.
And that appears to be just what those close to Houston suspected would happen.
The singer’s family always believed her death was accidental and was not a result of deliberate action taken by Houston—or anyone else, according to the insider.

Not really sure why the family considers this some kind of victory. It’s still extremely likely she took too many pills, blacked out, and then drowned. That’s not a “tragic accident.” That’s a drug addict with a really nice bathtub. Calling her death “sudden” is like this scene in ‘Fletch’. She was an addict for over a decade. The only thing “sudden” was the room vacancy.

Whitneys daughter went to the funeral, then got high

By brendon February 20, 2012 @ 12:19 PM


Whitney Houstons funeral on Saturday was one of the fanciest and most touching funerals a junkie who overdosed in a hotel bathtub has ever had, and once it was over, her teenage daughter stepped away to collect herself and reflect on the days events. And also to get high.

The Daily Beast says…

Just hours after watching an emotionally charged tribute to her doting mother, Whitney Houston, Bobbi Kristina Houston Brown decided she needed some time alone. So while friends and family convened at a local eatery in Newark, N.J., to remember the 48-year-old musical legend, Bobbi Kristina simply disappeared.

Wow. The daughter of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown is good at sneaking away to do drugs. Who woulda guessed.

Even before the funeral was held Saturday, the family had serious discussions about Bobbi Kristina entering into rehab as soon as her mother was laid to rest, according to multiple sources familiar with the conversations. They say she spent the night after her mother’s death using drugs to dull the pain.

Of course she did. Because she was raised by two selfish fuck-ups and never had any decent parenting. They probably should have just pushed her onto Whitneys coffin at the last second and saved everyone a second trip.

Mel Gibson was invited to Whitneys funeral

By brendon February 17, 2012 @ 7:36 PM


Mel Gibson won’t actually be at Whitney Houstons funereal in New Jersey tomorrow, but he was apparently invited by her family, because as Us weekly says…

Gibson once attempted to help Houston with her own substance abuse problems, a source confirms.
TMZ was first to report the story, adding that Houston’s family was “extremely appreciative” of the time he spent trying to help several years ago.

And not only that but it could have made her family feel better to point at Gibson and whisper to each other, “At least when Whitney was high she never started screaming about the Jews.”

Whitney spent the last few months drunk and high

By brendon February 17, 2012 @ 5:13 PM


Whitney Houston spent her final few days telling friends she thought she might die soon, a vision she saw for herself because she was touched by God and had amazing psychic powers. Or perhaps because she’d been binging on cocaine, alcohol, and pills since November.

Houston had fallen off the wagon and “was as bad as she ever was,” a close source told Star. “The last three months of Whitney’s life were truly tragic.”

Like last week at the Beverly Wilshire hotel, for example.

“Whitney was in a lounge chair drinking pina coladas all afternoon. Once in a while, she would get on her cell phone and start screaming at someone. She seemed almost manic at moments and practically unconscious the next.”

Hopefully someone at Whitney’s funeral tomorrow will say, “Hey, let’s go grab a drink and drown our sorrows,” because a clever pun like that would really lighten the mood I bet.