Whitney might have been broke

By brendon February 15, 2012 @ 7:54 PM

houston_whitney_file_021212_8761023

Now that they’ve apologized for “accidentally” raising the prices on her records immediately after she died, Sony executives will meet this week to figure out what Whitney Houstons music catalog is really worth.

Prepare to be disappointed, Bobby Brown. CBS News says…

Houston’s estate is expected to take in about $10 million this year, but that’s far less than others will make because Houston did not write or own her songs. The bulk of royalties go to the songwriter and the publisher.
The late Michael Jackson co-wrote and owned most of his music. Just last year, his estate took in $170 million.

And try and guess if there’s any money saved up from when she was actually recording.

…just before her death, tabloids declared Houston was flat-broke and asking friends for handouts … her New Jersey estate was nearly foreclosed on in 2006 when she failed to pay her property taxes and she admitted to spending lavishly on drugs and partying in the past decade.

Hmm. Um, well, say what you will but she clearly wasn’t throwing good money away on frivolous things like conditioner. And, um, life preservers.

Whitney had a premonition of her death. Gee you don’t say.

By brendon February 15, 2012 @ 1:50 PM

the_last_pictures_of_whitney_houston1

In September of 2001 there was a rumor that Whitney Houston had died of a drug overdose (which seemed reasonable because she overdosed twice the year before), and it became so prevalent that her publicist even had to issue an official denial.

Point being, Whitney Houston was high as fuck, non-stop, for at least 12 years. So, yeah. You don’t exactly have to be Spider-Man to anticipate some sort of danger on the horizon.

TMZ says…

Whitney Houston told friends she “really wanted to see Jesus” in the days before her death … and claimed she had a feeling the end was near for her.
Whitney had been very spiritual in her final days, quoting the bible, singing hymns and engaging in intense conversations about Jesus Christ and the afterlife.
(One day before she died) she told a friend, “I’m gonna go see Jesus … I want to see Jesus.”
The next morning, hours before her death, Whitney was discussing a bible passage involving John the Baptist and Jesus, when Houston flashed a big smile and remarked, “You know, he’s so cool … I really want to see that Jesus.”

Awww. I bet her weed dealer Jesus will be really touched when he reads this.

was Whitney Houston murdered?

By brendon February 14, 2012 @ 2:19 PM

houston07

Spolier Alert: no. Actually there’s no evidence of this being anything but a drug overdose and an accident, but Nancy Grace was on CNN last night implying it might have been murder anyway.

“I’d like to know who was around her, who, if anyone gave her drugs, following alcohol and drugs, and who let her slip, or pushed her, underneath that water?”
“Apparently no signs of force or trauma to the body. Who let Whitney Houston go under her water?”

Is Nancy Grace seriously so fat that she thinks people can’t slip the surface of water without some kind of help? CNN could have gotten literally anyone on earth and they would have been better than this dolt, even if all that person did was go outside and sit in a tree house.

(image source of whitney last night in her fancy gold hearse, being taken from the airport in newark to the funeral home = pacific coast)

a ghost plane is on its way to New Jersey

By brendon February 13, 2012 @ 6:50 PM

whitneyplane03

Whitney Houston is going home one last time, says People magazine. And also getting high one last time, as her body was flown from LA to New Jersey today (on a private jet owned by Tyler Perry) for a funeral in Newark later this week and a possible memorial service at the Prudential Center.

Prudential has already begun to make plans for the memorial by wrapping the big white rock in their logo in a plastic bag in her honor.

Whitney Houston is easily replaced

By brendon February 13, 2012 @ 12:45 PM

Everyone was really sad last night at the Grammies, just one day after Whitney Houston died, because she was such a special talent and impossible to replace. So to make everyone feel better, Jennifer Hudson sang Whitney’s big hit, “I Will Always Love You”.

That of course is a song that Dolly Parton wrote in 1973, and Hudson sang it every bit as good as she did, so it turns out Whitney is not that special and can be replaced on about 24 hours notice. Whew, what a relief!

the kick didn’t wake up Whitney Houston

By brendon February 13, 2012 @ 9:34 AM

the_last_pictures_of_whitney_houston

When Whitney Houston was found dead on Saturday at the Beverly Hilton at the age of 48, early reports suggested she may have fallen asleep or blacked out in the bathtub and drowned. Oh but you’ll never guess why she blacked out. Not in a million years.

Whitney Houston’s family was told by L.A. County Coroner officials she did not die from drowning, but rather from what appears to be a combination of Xanax and other prescription drugs mixed with alcohol … this according to family sources (and TMZ).

Which Radar pretty much confirms:

Houston had “a plethora of sedatives including Lorazepam, Valium, Xanax, and a sleeping medication that was found in her hotel room,” a law enforcement source tells us.

So there you go. Whitney Houston got drunk and high and drowned. It’s like if Tyler Perry had made ‘Inception’.