05.06.2011 Friday headlines, with Lindsay Lohan and green ooze

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES - had it’s first day of filming today in India, and already there are mysterious pictures from the set showing a green ooze. And the internet is all, “Is that the Lazarus Pit? Is Ra’s al Ghul in this? That’s so stupid, that doesn’t fit the canon, this is Batman in real life! This movie sucks, I hate it!” (latino review)

WHITNEY HOUSTONS DAUGHTER - was arrested for possession of alcohol (she’s 18) after some kind of gun fight between her friends and her ex boyfriend. A shocked and frightened Whitney has heard to ask, “Does anyone know what happened to the alcohol, where is it now?” (the enquirer)

THE OFFICE - had it’s first episode with Will Ferrell replacing Steve Carell last night, and the ratings were down 17 percent. If I were them I’d just keep saying Carell is on it and see how long before people figure it out. (thr)

THOR - has 175 reviews so far, and an impressive 80 percent of them are positive. Although a lot of them sound like Hollywood has lowered our summer expectations to a degree where all you have to do to get a good review is not completely fuck everything up. (rotten tomatoes)

X MEN FIRST CLASS - has a new character trailer, this time for Mystique, who is played by Oscar nominee Jennifer Lawrence. Of course if she was any good she would have won. If Julia Roberts has one, how hard could it really be. (youtube)

LINDSAY LOHAN - began her community service today at a women’s shelter in Los Angeles, although you’re forgiven if you assumed the green ooze in the headline was going to have something to do with her vagina. In your defense we’re still not sure it doesn’t. (inf)

8 photos in gallery >

Tags: batman, jennifer lawrence, lindsay lohan, steve carell, the dark knight rises, thor, whitney houston, will ferrell, x-men |

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05.17.2010 monday afternoon headlines

TWO GIRLS WHO READ TYLER - need votes for their doc about military families as part of the Pepsi Refresh Everything campaign. And so they made this video and wrote on a girl with huge breasts. I found it very moving, and now I love military families! Unless the girl with the huge breasts doesn’t. In which case I hate them too. Booo! You Suck! (go vote)

WILL FERRELL - might be the one writing this fake twitter page for “Paramount Films”. He’s a main suspect because so many of the tweets are about the demise of ‘Anchorman 2′. But will there be a oh so timely George Bush impression? Hold on to your funny bones! (pop eater)

JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS - started shouting “nigger” after getting so drunk United wouldn’t allow him to board a flight from NY to LA, although it’s not clear if he was directing it at anyone in particular, and so he’s not really in any trouble. That’s why I call Mexicans “kikes” and black people “dagos”. It’s still incredibly racist, but so confusing that people don’t get upset. (radar)

CHRIS KLEIN - was clearly coked out of his mind during his audition for Mama Mia, though some say its fake. Those people never saw ‘Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li’. If Klein were acting, he’d mumble incoherently then walk into a bunch of shit because he thinks squinting = badass. (youtube)

Tags: headlines, jonathan rhys meyers, reads tyler, will ferrell |

151 Comments

04.24.2009 will ferrell vs. wild

Some stars like Sean Penn can’t be bothered to do much of anything to promote their movies. Mostly because their pricks. But Hugh Jackman has been promoting “Wolverine” (which is actually really GD good) like a madman, and now Will Ferrell has even topped that by going on a two-day expedition in Sweden with Bear Grylls. The episode of “Man vs. Wild” will air in early June, just before Ferrells “Land of the Lost” opens.

Armed with only the most basic survival equipment, Grylls took Ferrell through the paces of real life survival in the ice-bound mountain and glacier ranges in the far north of Sweden.
Typical of the series, Grylls showed the actor what it takes to find food in the forests. They even drink their own urine and bite into reindeer eyeballs.
They tandem-abseiled off of a helicopter, rappelled down hundred foot frozen waterfalls, improvised snow shoes from saplings and built a shelter to stay warm overnight in freezing temperatures.

Still sounds like Will got lucky. Bear has done way worse than drinking urine. I realize some of the show is staged but most of it is stuff you can’t fake. Like his rugged masculinity and smoothly muscled torso. Wait, oh crap, did I type that or just think it? Oh jeez, which of these buttons is “delete” and which one is “publish”?

Tags: bear grylls, will ferrell |

229 Comments

04.23.2008 THE “SEMI-PRO” BEAR KILLED A GUY

The grizzly bear that wrestled Will Ferrell in the movie "Semi-Pro" killed a guy yesterday, after the bear bit his trainers neck while they were wrestling. ABC News says…

The bear named Rocky is 7 feet tall and weighs 700 pounds. Without warning, the seemingly tame bear's killer instinct kicked in as three experienced trainers were working with him at a facility east of Los Angeles. "He, unfortunately, bit one of the trainers," Maurice Moore of the San Bernadino Fire Department said. "A single bite to the neck, no aggression acts to follow." Rocky attacked 39-year-old Stephan Miller, who died before emergency help arrived.

They say Rocky has worked in a bunch of movies and TV shows and is only a problem if he feels threatened. I'm not technically a veterinarian, but I think wrestling a bear and slapping it around may make it feel threatened. Annoyed if nothing else. Rockys fate hasn’t yet been determined, but hopefully he won't be put down. At least not for this. Bears should be put down however if they steal honey like in cartoons, because I like honey.

(video of Rocky and the delicious Stephan Miller during happier times after the jump)

Tags: will ferrell |

48 Comments

04.27.2007 ALEC BALDWIN DOESNT THINK THIS IS FUNNY

Alec Baldwin reportedly fired his agent at CAA this week because the website FunnyOrDie posted the clip above. FunnyOrDie is the creation of Adam McKay, Chris Hency and fellow CAA client Will Ferrell. Baldwin asked CAA to intervene and they didn’t, so Baldwin walked. CAA also reps Baldwins ex-wife Kim Basinger, who is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn’t care what their daughter does as far as he’s concerned. Also thoughtless: supermodel Marisa Miller. You may think you can ignore me Marisa, but what about … OUR BABY! (pulls up shirt, cue “dun, dun dun“ music…)

UPDATE - hmm, their embeddable player might be down right now, and all the youtube clips are dicey, so click HERE to see the clip.

Tags: alec baldwin, will ferrell |

36 Comments

04.17.2007 STOP DOING SPORTS MOVIES

It's hard to know if this short film produced and starring Will Ferrell is really funny because it has a little kid yelling like an old Asian woman and cursing (always solid) or because Will looks exactly like Hair Bear. Either way, awesome.

Tags: will ferrell |

33 Comments