Will Smith Is A Nice Guy And Possibly A Shitty Dad

By Travis May 21, 2014 @ 2:00 PM

Will Smith got his Scientology on another woman's baby

While he’s being investigated by the Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services over the photo of 13-year old Willow Smith in bed with a shirtless 20-year old actor whose name doesn’t matter, Will Smith helped make a random woman’s pregnancy announcement a little more special by posing with her in a coffee shop. Hopefully Emily didn’t solicit any parenting advice from the Fresh Prince of Not Giving a Shit, because her child could end up buying into Jaden Smith’s new crystal orgasm cult with the Jenner sisters, and then it’s all a one-way ride to sex tapes, fetish porn, PCP addiction, and eventually being framed for the murder of Selena Gomez from there. But before I get ahead of myself, congrats to Emily and her husband.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Jaden Smith and Kylie Jenner Are The Face of Domestic Terrorism

By Lex May 19, 2014 @ 6:21 PM


Think of Kylie Jenner, and the Will Smith dunderhead kids and this Moises Arias bratpack leader as those for whom Scientology and Instagram just ins’t providing answers to key questions such as Why Am I Here, Am I In Control of My Destiny, and Why Does My Sister Get the Mercedes While I Get Stuck With the Range Rover. Apparently, these kids are so thirsty for the kind of knowledge you can’t get in a stupid school house, they’ve formed their own mini religion, the Orgonite Society, following the teachings of cult leader Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh.

Jaden has really dived headfirst into this radical movement. He thinks he is a ‘philosopher’ and Willow is just as into it

Like most cult leaders, Rajneesh writes a lot of books that the children of wealthy parents can buy for $19.95 and pretend they’re tuned into something greater than their fellow mall rats. Meanwhile, Rajneesh bangs the snot out the not fat cult members and gets all the good drugs. Also, his group back in 1984 kinda sorta contaminated local restaurant salad bars with salmonella because their pyramid crystals told them get that shit done. The actor kids in Calabasas lack the ambition for much plotting, plus they don’t dine at midscale restaurants with salad bars, so mostly count on lots of Jaden Smith tweets about knowledge, Willow Smith talking about how her kid body belongs to the Tree Gods and occasionally 20-year old Moises Arias, and Kylie Jenner getting her nails done on camera. The latter is more about funding. Every cult needs a Tom Cruise to bankroll the picnics.

It’s hard to see how this all could go horribly wrong. Sorry, I mean, it’s hard to see how we will give a shit when this inevitably all goes horribly wrong.

Jada Pinkett Smith Calls Everybody a Pedophile

By Lex May 08, 2014 @ 6:09 PM


Maybe you thought it was weird that 13-year old Willow Smith was in an Instagram photo in bed with her 20-year old topless guy friend Moises Arias. And that’s why you’re a pedophile, according to Jada Pinkett Smith who felt obliged to respond publicly:

There was nothing sexual about that picture or that situation. You guys are projecting your trash onto it, and you’re acting like covert pedophiles, and that’s not cool.

No, not cool at all. I think she means the pedo part, not the covert part, because you are going to want to hide that pedo stuff a bit if it’s your hobby. I have to agree with Jada that there’s nothing particularly sexual about that picture. There’s plenty of pictures of me from middle school with topless 20-year old dudes in a bed. It’s called my YMCA campers yearbook that the police only recently returned to me after the statute expired. Intuiting some kind of suggestiveness on the part of Willow is counter intuitive to how Will and Jada have raised their children to be completely in charge of their own lives from a very early age. Will has said before that parents don’t own their kids, that’s too much like slavery. Which is a solid parenting belief, not to mention stymies any reporter followup as you’re a black man bringing up slavery. School and parental supervision are overrated anyhow. The Smiths believe in letting their children grow up as they see fit, so, mostly Ring Pops, Sex, and Video Games. It’s like the movie Kids, but with lots of fuck you money and Scientology mixers.

Willow Smith Is Growing Up So Fast

By Travis May 07, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

Willow and Moises

Today seems like a good day to get to know a young actor who all the kids have already been slightly aware of for years. Moises Arias is a former star of Hannah Montana and a few other shows and movies that you might have heard of, but he’s also well known as the 20-year old guy who is always hanging out with 15-year old Jaden Smith and the teenage Jenner sisters. Now he’s also going to be known to some as the 20-year old guy who posted a photo of himself shirtless with 13-year old Willow Smith curled up next to him in bed, and also the guy who was stupid enough to post such a photo and then mildly smart enough to quickly delete it. Maybe they’re just friends and this is all harmless and innocent, but the public doesn’t give a shit about the difference between harmless and jailbait for an actor who had a supporting role in Ender’s Game. Only leading men get away with this crap, Moises.

Photo Credit: Moises Arias Instagram

Someone Needs To Remind Willow Smith That She’s 12 (VIDEO)

By Travis July 10, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Willow Smith is only 12-years old. That’s important to remember if you choose to watch the video for her new single, “Summer Fling”, as she’s being felt up by some guy who’s probably in his 20s for several minutes. Obviously, a lot of people think that it’s inappropriate for a 12-year old girl to be singing about love and especially having a fling, but this is America and there are probably pregnant toddlers by now.

I just miss the time when these kinds of videos were released by 17-year old girls, so it wasn’t as creepy when we counted down the days until they turned 18. This is just plain gross.

Charlie Sheen is suing that whore he kidnapped

By brendon November 23, 2010 @ 12:53 PM


Capri Anderson is of course the porn star who no one, even other porn stars, seems to have ever heard of until the police found her locked in Charlie Sheens hotel bathroom last month.

She’s been quiet about the incident since, until yesterday, when she went on Good Morning America and said Sheen was high and violent that night, adding that he used “racial slurs and put his hands around her throat”. Which is why, yesterday afternoon…

Sheen sued Capri Anderson claiming her version of events was a fabrication and that she sought $1 million from him to remain quiet.
Sheen’s filing pre-empted a lawsuit Anderson said she planned to file against the actor alleging battery and false imprisonment. She also said that she would file a report with New York City police.

I’m inclined to think he did everything she claims but she didn’t mind and was maybe even into it, but if she wasn’t, she can’t let Sheen intimidate her. It’s like Willow Smith says, “I don’t let haters keep me off my grind, I keep my head up and I’ll be fine.” I know I’m not alone when I say that ‘Whip My Hair’ has gotten me through some tough times, and it can for you too Capri, if you let it.