Demi Lovato Topless Pictures Leaked And Here’s Why You Should Care

By Lex April 05, 2014 @ 6:06 AM

I’m pretty sure every woman has a sex tape or naked photos of themselves floating around the Internet somewhere. If my mom called and told me we had to talk, I’d slam the phone down before she could cry about a clip of her and Sam the Butcher getting jiggy on 4Chan. Demi Lovato hasn’t been right since Barney made her do nasty from me to you kisses with Baby Bop in the playhouse. She inherited an eating disorder from her mom. By nine she was choking out her Oscar Meyer snack packs to keep her junior muffin top at bay. Then came cutting and drugs and worst of all, sex with Wilmer Valderrama. That right there should be enough to make you send back the lunch you already ate. Now, somebody’s shopping her sex tape and leaking out pictures that sure do look like her showing all kinds of human like intimacy and some titties. I’d say she made some unfortunate decisions in her life, but that’d just be the drugs talking. Hers, not mine. I think the bigger lesson learned here is that Corey Feldman has been right all along. Hollywood is a bunch of creepy sex fiends and pedophiles and opportunists looking to get over on stage kids either too young or too fucked up to know any better. I’m not blaming Wilmer, he lacks the intellectual capacity to be a conspirator. I’m going to go ahead and blame Demi’s mom, for being mental. And also for pushing her daughter into stardom when going to school, meeting cute boys, and maybe going on to be an interior decorator would’ve perhaps proved healthier. But that’s just me being all judgmental while I stare at Demi’s tits.

Wilmer Valderrama Big Boy Bodyguard Waterplay

By Lex May 20, 2013 @ 3:00 PM

Wilmer Valderrama Getting Out Of The Ocean With His Bodygaurd In Miami
If I was a super famous rich celebrity everybody wanted a piece of, I’d hang out with a bodyguard full time too. I’m not sure what that has to do with Wilmer Valderrama who was once on a TV show ten years ago. I think he just likes to swim with large Polynesian men. There’s no shame in that. I used floaties until I was nine. Unless the graphical tattoos on his chest translate into something close to ‘I fuck pretty Latino boys’. Then you might feel a little pinch.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN

Minka Kelly might be dating Fez now

By brendon March 01, 2012 @ 8:33 PM

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The NY Daily News says that Minka Kelly and Wilmer Valderamma were seemingly together Saturday night at Beachers Madhouse in Hollywood, with a friend of his adding that the two are “getting to know each other”. Which doesn’t even sound ridiculous now that Elisabetta Canalis and Steve-O are dating. Also Kate Upton is dating Michael Cera now, and Megan Fox is fucking Luis Guzman on the side. Probably.

afternoon headlines

By brendon October 19, 2009 @ 3:14 PM

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WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE – ruled the weekend box office by earning 32.5M. Notice I said “earned”. You could learn a thing or two about hard work and the value of a dollar from this movie, young man. (boxofficemojo)

MADONNA – was sued on Friday by her Central Park condo neighbor, because Madge “forces neighbors to endure blaring music, stomping and shaking walls … unreasonably high-decibel, amplified music as bass-y vibrations rumble through walls, ceilings and radiators.” To be fair, Madonna is an old lady. She was probably just watching Wheel of Fortune. “The Pat Sajak really tickles my goose,” she says to her cats. (enquirer)

WILMER VALDERAMA – will star in a sitcom based on “the Dog Whisperer”. Wilmer, the producer of ‘Hung’ and Fox have all come together to tell comedy lovers to go fuck themselves. (comingsoon)

RANDY QUAID – was due in court this morning in Santa Barbara to explain the fraud charges against him, but of course he didn’t show up, and now may be extradited from Texas. I’m not surprised he didn’t show up, but it was just as likely he’d show up in a gold horse drawn carriage, then stepped out wearing a tuxedo with tails, a ivory tipped cane, a top hat and spats.  (e!online)

LILY ALLEN – hung out topless on her balcony of a Venice hotel this weekened. Considering how often she does stuff like this, that might the most dishonest “classified” stamp ever awarded. (hq jump here)

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WILMERS BODGYGUARD IS HELPFUL

By brendon January 05, 2007 @ 11:25 AM

Wilmer Valderrama's bodyguard was nice enough to offer some travel tips to an unidentified man outside of Area in Hollywood last night, including "Come to LA mother fucker you better respect the shit nigger" and "live and die in LA mother fucker, Hollywood don't get it twisted."  Hollywood may or may not get it twisted, I don’t know, I'm not a lawyer, but I do know that "there’s no cops here to save you" as crazy fat Samoans head-butt you and fling you to the ground.  Heeding this advice, the man tried to hit the crazy fat Samoan in the neck with a small canvas shoe.  Um, it didn't work, and the effect was kinda like attacking a bear armed only with optimism and a mean face.

see the video on TMZ here.