tuesday afternoon headlines

WOODY HARRELSON - says America invaded Afghanistan because Chevron wanted to overthrow the Taliban and build an oil pipeline. "The guys from Chevron went in and met with the Taliban and realized those guys just weren't in control enough. That's why they wanted to oust them." You can read his entire interview in this weeks issue of 'Crazy Dipshit Weekly'. (newsbusters) LINDSAY LOHAN - is not creating a jewelry line...

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WOODY HARRELSON IS WEIRD

Gosh, I can barely even count all the times I've stripped naked to go swimming in the middle of the day with one of my buddies while vacationing together in Miami, like Woody Harrelson does here with Owen Wilson. Oh, no, wait, actually it turns out I've done that 0.0 times. it might not mean they're gay, but it probably does mean they were stoned. Dudes who are baked think this kind of thing is normal. They also think...

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WOODY HARRELSONS DAD DIED IN JAIL

CNN is reporting that Woody Harrelson's father died of a heart attack last Thursday in the Supermax federal prison where he was serving two life sentences for the murder of a federal judge. He was 69 (editors note - tee-hee, 69!). Charles Harrelson was found unresponsive in his cell on the morning of March 15. An autopsy showed Harrelson had severe coronary artery disease and probably died in his sleep. U.S. District...

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WOODY HARRELSON IS A JACKASS

Woody Harrelson got into a violent altercation with bouncers at a Venice Beach bar last week, while out for the night with buddy Owen Wilson. Woody reportedly tried to leave the bar with two glasses of wine in his hands. This is against California law. When the bouncer at the door tried to stop him, Woody sucker-punched him. Another bouncer stepped in but to no avail. The National Enquirer (per cele/bitchy) says:That...

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