By Lex August 19, 2014 @ 8:53 AM
Braless and pregnant and standing in front of a cupcake sign is not what I’d advise anybody as their public relations representative. I guess it beats standing in front of a sign that reads swollen floppy tits. Zoe Saldana is bucking the celebrity trend by having a husband and gestating her own babies. She’s also famous for claiming she will never ever get any plastic surgery. She has to be the most secretly despised woman in Hollywood. If she doesn’t employ at least two full time nannies, she’ll probably be garroted in her sleep by Halle Berry.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex July 31, 2014 @ 2:37 PM
Chris Pratt had to run around to tons of late night talk shows doing staged jokes to promote Guardians of the Galaxy. They told Zoe Saldana she could just take her clothes off for a woman’s magazine. That’s pretty fucking sexist. Yet I know I don’t need to hear her talk or see Chris Pratt naked. Maybe it’s time to change the way we look at sexism.
Photo Credit: Women’s Health
By Lex May 14, 2013 @ 6:13 PM
The big press release I got said ‘Zoe Saldana is nude in this month’s Allure!’. Okay, it wasn’t a press release so much as FSI in Glamour that fell out when I was perusing an article about how to Ombre your own hair. It was for a friend. Fuck, I said too much. The point is, Zoe Saldana is not nude in the magazine. She has no clothes. She’s technically nude. But, again, I call upon Stripper Law to plainly state that when a neon light blinks ‘LIVE NUDE GIRLS’, you’re going to see both Hooties and the Blowfish. If they wheel a girl out and she’s twisted up into a PG-rated pretzel, at least the DJ is now dead. There ought to be about 20 terms in the English language that when intentionally misused in advertising result in the punishment of death. Strip show, nude girls, free fries…
Photo Credit: Allure Magazine
By Lex May 09, 2013 @ 12:48 PM
I’d be lying like most men if I didn’t say I took a turn or two at thoughts of Zoe Saldana ten feet tall and blue and nude after seeing Avatar seven times in 3D. I like exotic women and the idea of a woman with twice normal size breasts seems appealing. In reality, Zoe’s boobs are much smaller. She doesn’t even wear a bra much of the time. And she’s not even blue. The actual proximity of masturbation fantasies to reality continues to suck.
Photo Credit: Splash, WENN
By brendon December 02, 2011 @ 1:49 PM
Zoe Saldana broke up with her fiancé last month after dating for 11 years, and yesterday Star said it was because she and Bradley Cooper were doing it now. They noted that the two filmed a movie together over the summer, and that Bradley Cooper is very handsome. I too am very handsome, so the story seemed plausible.
But now Saldanas agent says the rumor isn’t true, that they’re nothing more than “friends who worked on a recent film.” But if you read between the lines it sounds like they were having sex all the time, and then one day Zoe came to him crying because she was pregnant and Bradley made her get an abortion because, as he put it, “I aint havin’ me no colored baby.”
This Bradley Cooper fella sounds like a real piece of shit! Zoe Saldana is better off without him, I say!
(image source = bauer griffin)
X MEN: FIRST CLASS – has 3 new character trailers for Beast, Banshee, and Havok, also known as, “Oh I Thought That Was Young Cyclops”, “Who?”, and “The One Who Humps Out Laser Hoops”. (mtv)
CONAN THE BARBARIAN – has a new trailer out today, and at the end it mentions that this was shot in 3D, as if you couldn’t tell by the stunning percentage of pointy things flying at the screen. (yahoo)
COLUMBIANA – stars Zoe Saldana as an 80-pound lethal assassin, but it’s from the director of ‘Taken’ so I’m sure that’s all explained and it’ll make sense. (yahoo)
KELLY BROOK – is in the new UK Esquire, but unlike yesterday the issue is now out and so here are all the pictures. I sure would love to come across a girl who looks like this. So to speak. (esquire)