Zooey Deschanel Fucks Up Her Kid And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 23, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Celebrities are notorious for giving their kids stupid names and hipster wank fodder Zooey Deschanel is no different. She named her daughter Elsie Otter. That’s right, she named the poor kid after a swimming rat. Good luck getting into Princeton now. You might as well join a jug band.

Read all about this horrible case of child abuse. (Last Men On Earth)

Ana Cheri shows off her luscious tits. (Egotastic All-Stars)

Does Miley Cyrus ever wear clothes? (Drunken Stepfather)

Dumbass singer The Weeknd pleads no contest for punching a cop. (TMZ)

There is nothing like some underboob to kick off the weekend. (The Chive)

Hailey Bladwin wears some TIGHT jeans. (Popoholic)

Don’t you wish people who run marathons would just shut the fuck up about it? (I Am Bored)

HelloGiggles Says Hello to $30 Million

By Lex October 20, 2015 @ 8:02 AM

HelloGiggles is the female positive website started by Zooey Deschanel and two other women you’d want to punch in the uterus after five minutes of conversation on politics or sports. That’s misogynistic, also thoughtful eugenics. Like every other site declaratively for women, HelloGiggles is dedicated to helping young professional women pretend they don’t need a man to feel complete. It’s loaded with positive stories about women making a difference while wearing the perfect platform sandals for summer. The male equivalent of HelloGiggles.com would be BangHerFatTitties.com. HelloGiggles just sold to Time for thirty million. That’s pretty lucrative payout for a compilation of DIY cat yarn ball posts. When people tell you they think hard all day and they just want to relax with something mindless at night, they’re lying about the first part.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Zooey Deschanel New Tits And Shit Around The Web

By Jack May 05, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Hipster princess Zooey Deschanel is looking different these days in the chest region. Her once perky medium sized alt hippy chick boobies have grown into true massive jug-sized funbags. Tit job? That’s not an accusation, that’s a compliment

Judge her jugs for yourself. (Popoholic)

Kelsey is some chick with nice tits that’s bared herself in her apartment. (Egotastic)

Travis Barker from the 90′s is boffing Arianny Celeste because some guys have all the luck. (TMZ)

Kanye took a pic of the historic meeting of Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian’s ass. (Huffington Post)

Chrissy Teigen shows off her bikini body in Selfie magazine. (Drunken Stepfather)

Kendall Jenner sideboob? Don’t mind if I do. (Hollywood Tuna)

Bras are for quitters. (The Chive)

Zooey Deschanel Runs Around On The Beach Filming

By Lex August 08, 2013 @ 8:38 AM

Zooey Deschanel Runs On The Beach On The Set Of The New Girl In Malibu
Everybody loves Zooey Deschanel because they see her as the attainable girl. Cute, quirky, not hot or snobby. The kind of girl you could actually get. Only, you haven’t gotten her. Neither have I. Nor anyone you know. So she’s not really attainable to us. She’s unattainable. I’d suggest that your love of Zooey Deschanel is really built on a false premise. And I’d be right. Now go talk to your grandfather about what it means to be a man.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, WENN

Zooey Deschanel also likes bunnies

By brendon January 24, 2012 @ 2:45 PM


I’m as amazed as anyone but ‘New Girl’ is genuinely funny, the best new comedy since ‘Community’, thanks in large part to it’s perfect casting (namely Jake Johnson and Max Greenfield, and now they’ve added the great Lizzy Caplan). But the star of the show of course is Zooey Deschanel, seen here with a purse shaped like a bunny. It seems she and Jennifer Garner have a little theme going. That theme being: “women buy stupid shit”.

(image source = bauer griffin)