Just Give Lou Gehrig Your Fucking Money Already (VIDEO)

August 20, 2014 | video | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Make the ice bucket challenges fucking stop. Please. There’s a point at which Internet memes must be put down. It’s before TV news outlets and public relations reps for celebrities start jumping the bandwagon. I can’t believe a programmed... READ MORE

Taylor Swift Jumps the Taylor Swift Shark (VIDEO)

August 19, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I’m not sure what drives people with the power to turn shit into gold to abruptly change their turd supplier. Taylor Swift has decided to leave her wildly successful crappy country singer-songwriter roots for a turn at being Miley... READ MORE

The Jets Have High Fan Standards (VIDEO)

August 18, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Kurt¬†Paschke punched a chick in the face during a fight at MetLife Stadium last season. He’s been banned from attending games until October 12. Paschke claims he hit the woman accidentally while he was engaged in the trashy bridge... READ MORE

Michael Brown Was the Convenience Store Robbing Kind of Saint (VIDEO)

August 15, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

While we’re decades past the era any news outlet is going to wait an entire several days to get an accurate story to report, maybe they could say something like ‘First! But, yeah, we are wrong 89% of the... READ MORE

Chicago Blackhawks Let the Fatties Ruin Fun (VIDEO)

August 15, 2014 | video | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

The Chicago Blackhawks responded to an online petition urging them to make their intermission show way less fun. Between periods, The Blackhawks select random fans to play Shoot The Puck, where you try to score a goal to win... READ MORE

Megan Fox Plays Stupid Well (VIDEO)

August 13, 2014 | video | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Megan Fox went on Conan and told him his spirit animal is a llama. Some show prep producer mocked up a convoluted astrological chart for Fox to stumble through so the audience could laugh while imagining fucking her. Megan... READ MORE

Mickey Rourke’s Got Putin’s Back (VIDEO)

August 12, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Mickey Rourke offered a ringing endorsement of Vladamir Putin while in Russia. It seems that dudes who are cartoonish symbols of masculinity born out of self loathing find a way to relate to one another, and being a douche... READ MORE

Tony Stewart Sort of Killed His Opponent (VIDEO)

August 11, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If that Murder She Wrote crone got a hold of this Tony Stewart sprint car incident, she might find it to be kind of homicidal. You cut off some dude on the track, he gets out of his busted... READ MORE

Liv Apologizes to Beyonce for Not Fucking Jay Z (VIDEO)

August 6, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Jay Z’s in a fucking pickle. It’s bad when even the chicks you’re not boning outside your marriage are performing songs about how you wanted to bone them. Some self-described rapper chick named Liv made a music video in... READ MORE

Vin Diesel Has Lost a Lot of Friends (VIDEO)

August 4, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Vin Diesel recently¬†opened up about the death of Paul Walker. Diesel said it was tough to lose Walker and then went into a self-serving monologue referencing his turbulent, war torn past: “It’s a heavy thing, Michael. You know? I... READ MORE