Kim Kardashian Ass Surgeon Speaking Out

The doctors who work on the Kardashians to keep them looking desirable to black men who love their mamas are paid to shut up, threatened under NDAs, or lying bloodless in a ditch beyond the Humphrey’s Yogurt in Calabasas. Dead men tell no tales. One is finally speaking up.

Dr. Aardon Rollins of Elite Body Sculpting is rumored to be the inventor of the original Kim Kardashian jelly inflated fuck butt. Fake news used to be called rumors. This seems super reliable.

Rollins claims that the latest candid photos of Kardashian’s bare ass lead him to believe his worst fears have come true. Kim’s rump has been inflated and deflated to the point of exhaustion, with cellulite breeding in her bottom like Irish Catholics. Rollins used the balloon analogy. It’s like your oncologist pulling out the grapefruit. It’s never a good sign.

“Kim has had two children, she has put on weight and then lost it, then gained it again and lost it again. It’s like blowing up a balloon and then letting the air out – there are ripples. No wonder it looks like that. She has everything going against her and there is nothing she can do about it – apart from get the airbrush out.”

Rollins claims that Kim’s ass has become so unstable and cellulite filled from so many lipo-transfers from waist to ass that his own patients are now asking for a Kylie over a Kim. That sea change that could trigger Kris Jenner to enact Filicide Plan Seven. Is Kim worth more dead now than alive? If you film her suspicious murder she certainly is. Whodunnit? Read Plan Seven. We’re going to need a shorter, yet far wider coffin. How do they typically bury wild boars?

_{Photo credit: System magazine}