Amber Heard Loses Another Billionaire

When you’re a billionaire, there are a billion reasons to break up. I’d break up with a broad if she breathed too hard. There’s no limit in relationships when you can buy love and women. Or buy women things so they can tell you they love you. Same equation really. Same end results. I still don’t understand why it’s illegal to directly pay for the product you want. Why do you have to take her on dates first? Either way, Elon Musk decided to avoid the illegality and efficiency of soliciting sexual services. He chose Amber Heard as an exclusive girlfriend. Which he then broke up with. But who really didn’t see that coming? 

“The timing wasn’t good for them,” the source told the magazine. “He’s super busy and works all the time. Amber is filming [Aquaman] in Australia until October. She’s in no position to settle with him. She feels her career is just starting.” 

Amber Heard won the lottery and then lost her ticket. She lucked up with a billionaire that could build his own girlfriend if he wanted to. And somehow she still found a way to get dumped by real life Tony Stark. In the history of sleazy female activity, if there ever was an okay time to fake a pregnancy, this would be that time. Her next lover will only have a fraction of Elon’s wealth and IQ even if they are a celebrity. Her ex-lover already fits that quota by being a financially challenged Johnny Depp. It’s funny that she considers landing a billionaire as settling for someone. Musk is a revolutionary. Amber films secondary roles in Marvel superhero films that no one ever cared to read the comic of. Aquaman over Elon, really? Great choice Amber.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram / Splash News}