By Lex June 30, 2014 @ 11:06 AM
The League of Extraordinarily Faded Supermodels met in Ibiza, Spain over the weekend where the city celebrated by declaring a 24-hour duty free amnesty for importing harsh cigarettes from Northern Africa. Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell and other big names in staring blankly into the distance arrived to share fond memories of being young and sexually exploited. At some point, the models combined into a Megazord that defeated Barbary Coast pirates trying to invade the beach. At least, that’s how the aging models remember it after a few scotches and the blue pills Naomi shared from her stylish yet practical Gucci clutch.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Travis May 14, 2014 @ 10:00 AM
Prince William invited more than 200 guests to Windsor Castle last night for an event that celebrated the work of the Royal Marsden Hospital, and some of the more famous faces in attendance included Benedict Cumberbatch, Cara Delevingne and Cate Banchett. Supermodel Kate Moss was also there, and she got to speak with William as he made his rounds and pretended like a prince is still a real thing that people take seriously. Some people also think that Kate was actually flirting with William as she claimed that it was “Such a shame” that the Duchess of Cambridge stayed home to change the royal diapers, and she probably was. After all, there’s a huge difference between Prince William, the Duke of Cambridge, and Billy the balding British boy, so if an aging model wants to break up a marriage, this would be the one.
By Lex April 02, 2014 @ 3:09 PM
Kate Moss seems to be on an important phone call. It could be with the devil reminding her that she didn’t make millions off being a flabby bodied okay looking woman without his help. Or it could be her daughter phoning to remind Kate that she left her at a bar in Havana three nights earlier and now she’s legitimately frightened. Kate is currently on her 35th cover of Vogue magazine, which leaves Kim Kardashian just 34 covers short of tying her mark. In fact, Kate was named a contributing editor to Vogue last fall and will be submitting tips to the fashion bible readers on such things as how to slenderize using Camel unfiltered, tips for girls considering losing their virginity by the fourth grade, and fabulous dresses for under $5,000. I’m not sure if Vogue was ever any good, but I’m going to go ahead and declare that it’s gone to hell.
Photo Credit: Splash
By Lex March 18, 2014 @ 4:42 PM
It’s been a long day. I just want to kick back and check out a coked out just okay looking supermodel drinking wine on a yacht in St. Bart’s. Kate Moss is perfect for that. I think she’s got a husband now and maybe a kid. She never brings them on her fun trips. Family is a fucking bore and just gets in the way. Those wine glasses look expensive. I wonder if they have knock offs at Crate & Barrel. I really need to fix my massage chair. Fuck you, Sharper Image and airline magazines where everything looks awesome. Ah, that’s better.
Photo Credit: Splash
By Lex February 28, 2014 @ 1:27 PM
Kate Moss is a real woman with real woman feelings. She’s not some stoned Barbie doll existing merely for you to mock and ridicule. She’s a wife and a working mom and a contributing member of her society. Sometimes I wish people would look past the gossip and the snark and the hearsay and get to know the real Kate Moss. Personally, I’d start with her boobs. I heard she likes them peed on.
Photo Credit: Lui Magazine
By Lex January 16, 2014 @ 4:46 PM
There’s no real story here, just a mention that those of us who rightly had Kate in our ghoul pool officially get less points now if she teeters off into wherever supermodels go when they die. If you happen to be a young person yourself reading this and you’re wondering if booze and sex and drugs and starvation are really going to kill you like your parents and teachers say, Kate Moss is 40 today. Just saying. I’d go for it.