By Matt June 09, 2015 @ 7:16 AM
Kate Moss was kicked off a plane in Turkey because she got into an argument with another passenger, called the pilot a “basic bitch” and was refused alcohol at which point she got her own vodka out of her carry on, got wasted, and was promptly wrapped in a tire and lit on fire according to Sharia law. The airline, easyJet, is the foreign equivalent to Southwest except thankfully the flight attendants cover their shoulders. It seems Moss thought she was too good to be flying with the commoners although easyJet offers free tickets to toddlers and Moss weighs 42 pounds and qualified on a loophole. It’s not a great idea to ever be drinking when you’ve survived on hardtack and cigarette ashes since the disco era. Even less so in a Muslim country which requires users to hold off on reporting gang rapes until they’re in international airspace. Moss wasn’t charged and presumably boarded another flight after sleeping it off in a hammock fashioned out of Taco Bell wrappers. Bitch is a strong word. How do you hold your head up?
Photo Credit: FameFlyNet
By Lex April 22, 2015 @ 10:36 AM
Used to be moms could show off their nipples and the community agreed they’d done their part. Not Kate Moss. She’s topping herself by setting up a homemade jam booth at the Glastonbury Music Festival this summer, England’s version of Coachella or vice-versa. Damson, blackberry, and gooseberry will be on the menu. I don’t know what the fuck damson is, but I’m going to go ahead and guess that’s the one with the cocaine. If she winks at you and says the damson is in season, wink back ant say the damson spreads well on toast then find as many guineas as you can because you just hit pay dirt. Try to lose consciousness before Kanye performs and keep your wristband on through Monday at work so people will ask you if you went.
Photo Credit: W Magazine
By Lex October 08, 2014 @ 11:49 AM
It’s hard to imagine it’s been a quarter century since Kate Moss first told a photographer she wouldn’t tell her parents if he helped adjust her training bra and made her fashion debut. That seems like 5,000 cocktails and a pound and a half of party drugs ago. But, fuck, she’s still standing. Fashion models can really only be killed by knife wielding jealous boyfriends..
Kate Moss has recently signed on to appear on Gogglebox. It’s a Channel 4 television show in the U.K. where you watch other people watching television. It’s a natural evolution as television fare itself has become so incredibly insipid it only elicits a visible response from a small subset of the socially challenged. Now, you can watch strangers shriek at Real Housewives reveals. Or watch Kate Moss as she watches the fashion channel and mindlessly chain smokes. Unless you’re a wealthy banker or a Colombian drug mule, it’s the closest thing you’ll ever experience to having sex with Kate Moss.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI,PacificCoastNews
By Lex June 30, 2014 @ 11:06 AM
The League of Extraordinarily Faded Supermodels met in Ibiza, Spain over the weekend where the city celebrated by declaring a 24-hour duty free amnesty for importing harsh cigarettes from Northern Africa. Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell and other big names in staring blankly into the distance arrived to share fond memories of being young and sexually exploited. At some point, the models combined into a Megazord that defeated Barbary Coast pirates trying to invade the beach. At least, that’s how the aging models remember it after a few scotches and the blue pills Naomi shared from her stylish yet practical Gucci clutch.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Travis May 14, 2014 @ 10:00 AM
Prince William invited more than 200 guests to Windsor Castle last night for an event that celebrated the work of the Royal Marsden Hospital, and some of the more famous faces in attendance included Benedict Cumberbatch, Cara Delevingne and Cate Banchett. Supermodel Kate Moss was also there, and she got to speak with William as he made his rounds and pretended like a prince is still a real thing that people take seriously. Some people also think that Kate was actually flirting with William as she claimed that it was “Such a shame” that the Duchess of Cambridge stayed home to change the royal diapers, and she probably was. After all, there’s a huge difference between Prince William, the Duke of Cambridge, and Billy the balding British boy, so if an aging model wants to break up a marriage, this would be the one.