South African model Candice Swanepoel might be the big new star to come out of last nights Victorias Secret Fashion Show, and by that I mean, I think you can sort of see her vagina in this one. If you’re wondering if I zoomed in and made that one brighter, well then buckle the fuck up, because the answer is you’re god dam right I did. We really do live in an age of wonders, don’t we my friend.
(source = getty images and splash news and wenn and mavrix online)
I wish there were more pictures of Chanel Iman at last nights Victorias Secret Fashion Show, because this girl really knows how to model. She’s new, but Operation Show Everyone My Perfect Ass was a complete success. Which is amazing because she’s only like 10 inches in diameter. She must be tight as a drum if you know what I mean. When we have sex, my penis is gonna make up like 20 percent of her. For 3 minutes or so she’ll be classified as Multiracial.
(source = getty images and splash news online)
A tour bus that was one of four transporting Miley Cyrus and her crew during her current tour drifted off the road and overturned this morning near Richmond, Va. Amazingly the driver was the lone fatality. Nine others on board had minor injuries. Miley was not on the bus that flipped and not on scene after the crash. People magazine says…
“It was one of our tour buses, but not Miley’s,” her manager said. “It was one of our buses that transported our lighting crew.”
An investigation is underway to determine exactly why the bus – part of a four vehicle caravan – drifted off the road and overturned. One person, presumed to be the bus driver, died.
Another report is suggesting the driver died while at the wheel and that’s what caused the crash. Just to make sure Mileys rival isn’t behind this, I should take Selena Gomez into custody and search her. Yes ma’am, I know this is uncomfortable. Yes, panties too I’m afraid. I do have to record all this yes, I’m sorry. Just take your time. Nice and slow, that’s it. Okay now bend over for me please.
Marisa Miller worked the Victorias Secret Fashion Show last night as well, and this is more like it. This is how fashion shows should be, and this is exactly how Marisa should be. 99 percent naked except for body oil and lingerie, but still in ridiculously high heels so I can grab her if she tries to run.
(source = getty images and mavrix online)
The famous Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was held in New York City last night, and Heidi Klum is fantastic looking but she’s not exactly 19 anymore, and she gave birth to her fourth child just 6 weeks ago. So many kids have come through her vagina you’d think Disneyland was on the other side.
Point being, they can’t exactly whore her up like they used to, so her pictures are a little disappointing. They should replace her. A logical choice would be my beloved Kimberly Phillips (nsfw playboy pic here, facebook here). You wouldn’t have a car show with a 2003 BMW headlining would you? No, you’d have what’s next. This is the same thing, except maybe worse because I could still at least hump the BMW.
(FASCINATING SIDE NOTE - someone from playboy who was at the shoot emailed to say that the book Kimberly is reading in this nsfw picture is ‘Rant’. By Chuck Palahniuk. Author of ‘Fight Club’. Which stars Tyler Durden. Oh, I know right? This hot skinny bitch is so perfect she probably tastes like strawberries and can move things with her mind too.)
(picture source = getty images and playboy cyber club)
Minka Kelly is in St Barths this week with her boyfriend, New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. He’s really famous, so I have to sweeten the pot if my plan to steal her away is gonna work. The commercials for Kay Jewelers suggested this Loves Embrace pendant. While the world may change at a hectic pace, she and I will be safe in Loves Embrace. Let’s see Jeter try and top this.
(source = fame)
