As Rihanna was on her way to the stage yesterday to perform on Good Morning America, a zipper broke on her dress. And do you know what kind of people have zippers break?
Rihanna claimed she was “too fat” after the zip burst on her dress prior to a gig broadcast live on US TV yesterday.
As a result, Rihanna tentatively took the stage clinging on to her ruined dress in the process.
She held back on her usual array of body-bending moves, fearing the strain would cause the frock to fall off her.
She said: “My dress! I’m a little too fat right now. The zip busted in the back. They’re like, ‘You’re a minute late!’
“I wanted to stitch it up but I couldn’t.”
I don’t like when people say things like “I’m too fat right now” because they’re either fishing for compliments or they are fat and now it’s awkward. Now all the pressure’s all on me. WTF is that? Don’t put this on me just because you have no self control. No wonder you can’t keep a boyfriend. You got real fat and now you want a bunch of easy answers. Not to mention there’s the fact that you got real fat. Let’s not forget that little detail.
I thought Kim Kardashian was always bragging about her big ass and loving her body the way it was, but apparently I was wrong and thank god because this new version that she posted on her twitter (full size pic here) is much much better. Her face looks kind of photoshopped, but if I think too much it will ruin the fantasy so I don’t really care. If I can pretend my girlfriend is Megan Fox during sex I can sure as hell pretend that a picture of Kim Kardashian is really Kim Kardashian.
For some reason one of the big stories today is a list of all the fancy Hollywood people who will be going to President Obamas first state dinner tonight. Suffice to say Angelina Jolie will not be one of those kissing the ring.
“She hates him,” a source close to Jolie tells Us Weekly. ”She’s into education and rehabilitation and thinks Obama is all about welfare and handouts. She thinks Obama is really a socialist in disguise,” adds the source.
But don’t expect to see her rally against Democrats on Fox News like her staunch Republican father, Jon Voight.
“Angie isn’t Republican, but she thinks Obama is all smoke and mirrors,” the source says.
I knew it. I knew Angelina was awesome. What happened to this country? We used to be awesome. Now it’s all rules, rules, rules. Stop. No. Don’t do that. Don’t watch this. You can’t say that. Don’t go over there. Just leave me the fuck alone. This is all gonna change once I build my underwater kingdom. From under the sea my plan will unfold and they’ll get a glimpse of my power. Now who’s giving the orders!
(i dont have any new jolie pictures, but to celebrate her awesomeness here are some hot older ones)
Last week Tila Tequila was high as a fuckin kite feeling frisky and put on a rambling naked webcam show that lasted for several hours. It was confusing and unsexy, but if that’s just the way you like her, this is your lucky day.
…a new XXX video surfaced on a porn site called 4tube.com featuring Tila in a very compromising adult position with a naked man. Tila doesn’t know why the video is surfacing now, but she claims it was ripped from a laptop that she reported stolen roughly two years ago — and now she’s threatening to sue the site for posting the clip.
Well, at least she’s little, so if you’re gonna do it with a reality star it might as well be her. Paris Hilton would be very last on the list. She’s all worn out and the only thing you’d feel is the burning as the STDs worked their magic. It would be like putting your penis is a hoop of fire, except way more embarrassing.
(you can see the nsfw 4tube clip here, and if you havn’t seen the highlights of her webcam show there’s two more clips here and here.)
OK! magazine goes to newsstands tomorrow pinkly screaming that Britney Spears is all set to get married again, this time to her agent Jason Trawick. Also Kristen will be there for Rob.
Britney is telling friends she’s ready to marry her boyfriend Jason Trawick. And all it took was her boys’ blessing to convince her to move ahead with plans for her third wedding in five years.
“Britney said she does not have a doubt in her mind that she wants to spend the rest of her life with Jason,” a source close to the couple tells OK!. “She has already discussed marriage with him, and they are both excited about a romantic wedding.”
I don’t mean to be cynical but maybe Britney should cool her jets with the weddings for a while. She’s the worst possible combination, dumb and clingy. She could probably name more ex husbands than she could Presidents.
Mariah Carey must get bored during the flight to London and use her free time to think up insane new demands, because she’s always at her Mariah-iest when she gets over there. She did the red carpet hotel thing there (this). She had an assistant bring a glass of water with a straw to her lips (here). Now there’s this from the set of a London morning show…
“While Mariah was very nice, the amount of people she had in her entourage was hilarious.
She had two people to lower her on to the GMTV sofa, in case her dress got crushed, one person to walk in front of her backwards at all times in case she fell over and several people behind the camera making sure she was going to be filmed from the right angle!
‘Oh, and she brought her own toilet roll as well.”
It sounds like Mariah is just being tricked into hiring new people at this point. Like on infomericals. They showed Mariah a video of someone trying to sit on a couch by themselves but the person missed and fell over the side and then a skunk sprayed them. And then the image froze and a big red X was stamped on them. Then someone said, “are you tired of getting sprayed by skunks when you try to sit on the couch.” And Mariah said, “yes. Yes I am.” And then they show the solution and it’s these two guys who help you on and off couches. And then there’s some wildlife movie clip from the 70’s of a skunk getting eaten by a lion. And then Mariah sat there with her phone and her index finger hovering over the keys, waiting for the number to appear.
