This is relevant to nothing but because Rihanna has the self-defense skills of a fucking toddler who just came out of the dryer, my sexxxy website got all serious and depressing.
Luckily Kelly Brook, being wise and all-knowing, preemptively posed for pictures in her bra and panties. Catholics should drop the shit about sunrises and your babies smile and just show pictures of her tits as proof of God.
(go to the tyler facebook for 2 uhq)
Does Kelly Brook think she can just show up on the page whenever she wants, turn my world upside down, then walk away and break my heart? Well no, no more. It’s time to start lookin out for number 1, baby! I mean … um. Wow. That’s a really tight dress. Oh Kelly … I can’t stay mad at you!
(hq jump = here. source = inf daily)
The GQ Men of the Year Awards were held last night in London, and according to the list of winners it’s a bunch of faggity nonsense just like the magazine itself. I have no idea who the hell those people are, except for my beloved Lily Allen who won Woman of the Year. The big winner of the night was my penis because Kelly Brook wore this dress that probably caused her toes to turn blue but also showed off her comic-book-villain body. She almost looks as good as she did in Arena magazine (here). One time I masturbated so hard to those I actually died for three minutes.
(20 more pictures here. hq jump here. source = splash, wenn, pacific coast)
I wish I had known about this photo shoot that Kelly Brook did for the new Loaded magazine, because in some of the pictures she has a cigarette in her mouth, and I’d go buy a little tiger striped kitten and I’d be like, “Hey Kelly Brook, I know your modeling but I just rescued this little kitten from a house with monsters and I don’t think it should be around cigarette smoke”. And she’d be all like, “oh my god you’re so sweet. And brave too. Monsters are scary.” And I’d say, “Yes they are scary.”
And then after that I guess I’d head home. It’s getting pretty late.
I’m not entirely sure how someone could lay out poolside at a hotel in Los Angeles and yet the only pictures of it are in newspapers from London, but that’s what Kelly Brook and her boyfriend whose name I’m not going to learn did yesterday. I also don’t know what he’s doing here, but it’s exactly what I would be doing 35 hours a day. “Oh no I slipped again. Clumsy me! Luckily your huge breasts were there to cushion me.” I wouldn’t go ten steps without falling into her big awesome tits. If you saw us on a date you’d think I just landed here from some other planet with half the gravity.
KENDRA WILKINSON - has confirmed to E! that she’s pregnant. Which sucks. I should have been told in person. The father has rights too! (source = e! online)
IRON MAN 2 - The first picture of Mickey Rourke in Iron Man 2 has been released. Rourke plays Whiplash, and he has a suit sort of like Iron Mans, except he adds whips and takes away any protection whatsoever. He’s unstoppable, unless he were to run into the real Iron Man, or any normal police officer with a gun, or anyone with the flu. (source = USA Today)
KELLY BROOK - a few of these pictures we’re on here Monday, but most are new, they’re all better quality and there’s now 100 percent more naked breast (BAM). These of course are from the set of Piranha 3D. I don’t like when horror movies do this kind of thing, because I end up with an erection while someone gets ripped apart. There’s no way that’s mentally healthy. (hq jump = here)
