Vatican Gets Delivery Of Coke Filled Condoms

By Jack March 24, 2014 @ 2:00 PM

The Vatican received a special package containing 14 condoms filled with 340 grams of cocaine. I guess somebody didn’t read the Catholic Church’s position on the use of rubbers. I remember being told in Catholic school that condoms would make me impotent. In this case they may be right as there is nothing worse than floppy coke dick. The parcel was coming from South America where good Catholics have been providing the Holy See with blow since the Incas first started getting raped by the pale man. It was simply addressed to the Vatican post office so anyone could have picked it up. The package is estimated to be worth about $40,000 or four quadrillion Pesos. It’s unclear who put in such a big order of cocaine from the Vatican. It’s doubtful that that much blow was for one person’s personal consumption. That means that one of the priests is likely the connect for a number of clergy . Maybe they are doing lines off Mary’s tits on Michelangelo’s Pieta or just throwing a little extra party into the jug wine they use at mass. Either way, it’s nice to know the Church is modernizing and that I still get erect at the sight of a naked homeless woman wiping up her poo after all these years of Trojans.