Jessica Simpson is crafty

Jessica Simpson tells Entertainment Tonight that she is very happy and adjusting well to life as a single girl. She is bothered by endless speculation about her personal life, but is thankful to be busy in Santa Fe filming ‘Employee of the Month’, and even though she is on the cover of ‘W’ magazine hitting newsstands March 17, she says the constant glare of media attention can be a strain. She even admits to some extreme measures to avoid the paparazzi:

“I hid in my mother’s trunk, to get out of the house and to go shopping in peace.”

Jessica just bought a new 3 million dollar home in Beverly Hills and is using this period in her life to “cleanse”, meaning she has sworn off alcohol and caffeine and spends most downtime just being goofy with longtime friends.

“We’re learning how to belly dance through DVDs — we’re doing all kinds of fun things to keep us entertained. I love life. I’m very blessed with where I’m at.”

No one is more in love with Jessica than I am, but god damn she’s vapid. I’m a little worried I won’t be able to tell when the roffies kick in. I may double up just in case. My plan is to pound her vagina like I’m playing wack-a-mole, and I’m gonna need her to focus.

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