PAM ANDERSON IS SORRY

Pam Anderson writes on her personal website that she doesn’t spend much time worrying about how she looks when she goes swimming with her kids.  Which explains these recent candids from Hawaii:

Thank god I don't have a google alert on myself (like some people I know do on themselves) – I've just been sent some pics from Hawaii – I have to laugh – well at least the world knows I don't get botox – ha!…I'm much hotter in my mind – (I swear I look better) – then again I hardly check a mirror before I go outside – may start doing that more. I may have to start working out too though – genes and gymnastics have gotten me this far. I just refuse to let these paparazzi ruin my time or my lifestyle in general with my children – I'm not going to spend time putting makeup on or staying covered up on the beach – it's definitely surreal though – I think I look alright but everywhere you turn you have a camera in your face – up you butt – it's crazy – too many tabloids – must be running out of stuff to print…I'm a semi-retired single mom – hello?

So I guess Pam thinks if she doesn’t look at her picture, she wont age, sort of like a slutty version of Dorian Grey, but although she’s kind of lumpy, she’s 39 and the mother of two.  Even with an awesome genetic hand, this is pretty much what human beings look like when they’re 39 and the mother of two.  So thanks to these pictures for reminding us that time slowly turns even perfect women into monsters.  I don’t think I’m alone when I say that Science really needs to get off their ass and invent a way for me to have sex with a robot.  Then life will be good.  No more aging and no more fights.  And if we do fight, I'll hump the dryer right in front of her to remind her who's boss.