PARIS WANTS TO BE IMMORTAL

News.com says that Paris Hilton has arranged for her and her two dogs to be cryogenically frozen after she dies, and then brought back to life in the future.  Just as soon as they figure that kind of thing out.

The hotel heiress is keen to live forever and has invested a large sum of money in the world's biggest suspended animation cemetery, Cryonics Institute.She wants her body to be preserved and then brought back to life, along with her favourite pets, including her famous Chihuahua Tinkerbell and new mutt, Yorkshire Terrier Cinderella.The Simple Life star said: "It's so cool. Almost all the cells in the body are still alive when death is pronounced."And if you're immediately cooled, you can be perfectly preserved."My life could be extended by hundreds and thousands of years."

It's probably safe to guess that Paris Hilton doesn’t have a complete command of the science involved here.  They probably explained this to her by showing her Snow White.  She's picturing herself in a knit scarf and fur hat in some comfy bed in an igloo and then – TA DA! – she just opens her eyes in the year 4000.  Granted that does sound pretty cool.  Several Disney and Martin Lawrence movies have taught me that all you need to rise to the top after time traveling is a sassy, street-wise attitude and knowledge of rock and roll.  Check and check, baby.