JESSICA ALBA GOT MARRIED

Jessica Alba and Cash Warren got secretly married yesterday in a Beverly Hills courthouse.  They arrived at the courthouse around 11:30 am, applied for the paperwork, then were married about 40 minutes later in a ceremony performed by a member of the courthouse staff.  No family, friends or media were present.  The two have dated steady for about four years, minus a short break up in July of last year.  People magazine says…

According to a source, they were married in the Beverly Hills courthouse's ceremony room under an arch of green silk foliage and white flowers. They were casually dressed, with Alba wearing a long blue dress and her hair back in a ponytail.  "She looked happy but nervous," the source says.  Nobody else attended the wedding, the source adds.

It's still not clear how this lox tricked Jessica Alba into dating him, much less lying down with him, then marrying him.  The most popular theories are: a) drugs b) magic c) Jesus.