Luis Suarez Bit A Dude And Shit Around The Web

The fucking World Cup got interesting for the first time since the Aztecs used human heads for the sport when a Uruguayan player tried to Tyson an Italian player’s ear. I think he ended up with only a mouth full of scapula. How disappointing.

Check out the best thing that has ever happened in the history of soccer ever. (COED)

Harrison Ford derailed the new Star Wars film by being a clumsy old bastard. (The Superficial)

Selena Gomez bravely shows her bikini bod on Instagram. Again. (Drunken Stepfather)

Jessica Alba tried mind control to make her nipples stop poking. (Egotastic)

Jenny McCarthy might get shit canned from The View for being a fucktard. (Fox News)

Perez Hilton fingers a dude’s ass live on the Howard Stern Show, no one surprised. (Defamer)

Dorks struggle with sad feelings because Community isn’t going to Hulu. (Huffington Post)