Britney Spears Squats for the Children

By Lex August 17, 2015 @ 1:19 PM

Britney Spears Crouches In Sheer Dress
Nobody knows what the Teen Choice Awards are. Nobody cared after Britney Spears showed up and squatted like a Russian grandma taking an alley dump in 1911. You’d have to be a qualified doctor to name all the parts Britney was displaying in her pop-up gynecological diorama. She was subsequently awarded six trophies for being a sex positive role model for girls and smartly distancing herself from Iggy Azalea musically. There’s a reason we don’t let teens decide shit in this society. Sour Patch kids are giving you diabetes. Check out Britney’s snatch, kids. Life never gets better.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Britney Spears And Iggy Azalea Pretty Girls (VIDEO)

By Lex May 13, 2015 @ 12:22 PM

Britney Spears And Iggy Azalea New Music Video
If there is an actual race to the bottom for inanely worded computer generated pop songs, it’s time to hand out the award. Pop music for teen girls never required musically gifted performers. But they had to provide vocals. If that last connection to song production is no longer part of the process, then you can literally plug in anybody. Why the freaky looking albino? You’ve just savaged my Britney Spears fap with that Poltergeist possessed dancing mannequin. Somewhere the parents of Bananarama are crying for having wasted money on singing lessons.

Photo Credit: “Pretty Girls” Britney Spears

Britney Spears Eats It And Shit Around The Web

By Jack April 30, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Britney Spears took a tumble performing one of her level green moves on stage in Vegas. It’s the ankle. They’ll probably have to put her down. It was fun while it lasted. Charitable donations in lieu of flowers please.

Watch Britney eat it. (TMZ)

Courtney Stodden was offered 1 million dollars by Vivid. (The Superficial)

Oregon Ducks cheerleaders doing their thing. (COED)

Kim Dejesus likes to wear tiny swimsuits. (Busted Coverage)

This is Khloe Kardashian pretending she goes to the gym. (Huffington Post)

Blake Lively wants to go to Harvard Business School because why not? (Dlisted)

Who needs a fucking bra? Not us! (The Chive)

Britney Spears Potty Mouth And Shit Around The Web

By Jack April 16, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Britney Spears turned on a heckler at her Vegas show after he called her a “fat bitch”. She called the guy a “Fucking asshole”. These were either gratuitous empty insults or well reasoned evaluations of character. It’s really really close.

Watch Brit get all Louisiana on a dude. (TMZ)

Amber Heard looks cold. At least her nipples do. (Egotastic)

Nerds everywhere are spazzing out over seeing old ass Han Solo in the new Star Wars trailer. (Huffington Post)

Courtney Stodden has got some big ‘ol titties. (Hollywood Tuna)

I wouldn’t mind having Bella Thorne’s legs wrapped around me. (Popoholic)

Who needs bras? Set them titties free! (The Chive)

Please enjoy this crotch shot courtesy of Erin Heatherton. (Drunken Stepfather)

Britney Spears Has Evolved

By Lex March 31, 2015 @ 10:22 AM

Britney Spears Cheers Her Son On At His Soccer Game In Woodland Hills
Seven years ago Britney Spears was locked with her kids in the bathroom threatening to off herself. Now, she’s rooting them on at AYSO and studying pre-Algebra so she can help her kids with their homework. This is a testament to modern medicine and the ability of her father make sure she eats her special sandwiches. I’m not saying every woman who shows signs of crazy ought to be tranquilized and put under strict custodianship, I’m just saying we need an honest debate. The world gets quieter but the sex gets less interesting. I could go either way.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Britney Spears Loses Her Shit And Shit Around The Web

By Jack March 03, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Britney Spears lost a bit of her hair extension on stage like two hood rats yanking out weaves over their baby daddy. Broke ass Indian women gave their hair for you, Brit. Get right with your weave.

Watch Britney’s shame. (Huffington Post)

I love a woman who knows how to tug on her panties. (The Chive)

Emily Ratajkowski in lingerie is faptacular. (Egotastic)

Is it just me or do you kinda want to fight/fuck Ronda Rousey? (TMZ)

Want to see Shailene Woodley covered topless? Me neither, but here it is anyway. (Drunken Stepfather)

Charlie Riina bikinis like a fucking champ. (Hollywood Tuna)

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in lingerie makes me want to tallyho her crumpets. (Popoholic)