If there is an actual race to the bottom for inanely worded computer generated pop songs, it’s time to hand out the award. Pop music for teen girls never required musically gifted performers. But they had to provide vocals. If that last connection to song production is no longer part of the process, then you can literally plug in anybody. Why the freaky looking albino? You’ve just savaged my Britney Spears fap with that Poltergeist possessed dancing mannequin. Somewhere the parents of Bananarama are crying for having wasted money on singing lessons.
Britney Spears took a tumble performing one of her level green moves on stage in Vegas. It’s the ankle. They’ll probably have to put her down. It was fun while it lasted. Charitable donations in lieu of flowers please.
Britney Spears turned on a heckler at her Vegas show after he called her a “fat bitch”. She called the guy a “Fucking asshole”. These were either gratuitous empty insults or well reasoned evaluations of character. It’s really really close.
Seven years ago Britney Spears was locked with her kids in the bathroom threatening to off herself. Now, she’s rooting them on at AYSO and studying pre-Algebra so she can help her kids with their homework. This is a testament to modern medicine and the ability of her father make sure she eats her special sandwiches. I’m not saying every woman who shows signs of crazy ought to be tranquilized and put under strict custodianship, I’m just saying we need an honest debate. The world gets quieter but the sex gets less interesting. I could go either way.
Britney Spears looks good. I don’t know how much is Photoshop and how much is real Cajun seasoning. If you’re asking these kinds of questions when stroking one out you’re probably gay. Also, lonely. If you’re thinking about buying her clothes you’re probably both. Though maybe these promo photos are meant for women shoppers. I get confused when long since dormant feelings arise. Or any human feelings at all. Sell, Britney, sell. When you find out dad blew the Oops I Did It Again fortune on a sure thing e-cigarette business in Florida, you’re going to want underwear sales to cushion the landing. Apparently you can sing for meals now at McDonald’s. You’re all good.