Farrah Abraham Fight Probably Not Happening

November 12, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I wonder what are the necessary qualifications an individual must possess before being allowed to have a street, park, bench, or any other publicly shared entity named after them. I propose they name an STD after Farrah Abraham. It... READ MORE

Louis C.K. Finds A New Woman And Less Uptight Audience

November 12, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I’m guessing if you’re a guy that likes to butter his baguette in front of your lady friends without warning, France is an excellent place to spend your Me Too exile. The place has fines for catcalling but if... READ MORE

Madonna’s Daughter Is A Furry

November 11, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I’m not a fan of modern feminist ideology turning young women into hairy fairies. I understand that being a strong woman requires repeatedly chanting “I don’t need no man” in your head all day like a lunatic, but you... READ MORE

Kim K Requires Snack Breaks During Sex

November 10, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I can think of a few things I rather experience more than news of more spilled tea concerning Kim Kardashian’s sex life. Things like getting my hands on a full bottle of Chrissy Teigen’s breast milk for my morning... READ MORE

Hayden Panettiere Caught Up In Honky-Tonk Hooligan Activities With Her Boyfriend

November 9, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Country music has sucked for quite some time. You can probably blame acts like that jackass of all trades Kid Rock. You can’t be a rapper, rockstar, and country artist all in the same body. Him and others like... READ MORE

Tristan’s Preferred Kardashian Pats Herself On Back

November 8, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I need a little more convincing that Khloe Kardashian’s purpose on this Earth isn’t parallel to that of the primary purpose of petroleum jelly, mostly existing just for butt stuff. At least you can’t get Vaseline pregnant should you... READ MORE

Heroin Loving Lovato Out On The Loose

November 8, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Demi! Demi! Yes, mama? Injecting brown sugar? No mama. Telling a lie? No mama. Show me your arms! Ha. Ha. Ha. America’s favorite smack head lives to lie about chasing the dragon another day. I believe celebrity rehabilitation centers... READ MORE

Alec Baldwin Arrested Over Parking Spot Assault

November 7, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I save all of the peace and love I have in my heart for the day my fantasy orgy with invites Jessica Alba, Emma Stone, Kate Beckinsale and friends materializes. That’s the only time I’m spreading around all of... READ MORE

Pam Anderson Is Anti-Me Too

November 7, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Pam Anderson, just like daylight savings time, has served its purpose long ago and really has no reason to be around any longer. You would think she would just accept her new place in the pantheon of big bosom... READ MORE

Steph Curry Recruits Viola Davis To Make Film About Charleston Shooting

November 6, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Thanks to Vice, I believe there’s a documentary available on almost every topic imaginable. I don’t think triple transracial pronoun-free twink transitioning into a productive member of society exists yet, but I have hope. Vice probably already has an... READ MORE