Miley Cyrus’ Sister Selling Her Tears For Absurd Price

September 25, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I’m the type of person that rather have a handful of titties than responsibilities. Just having to acknowledge Noah Cyrus’ existence feels like a chore. Matthew McConaughey 7:14 in the New Celebrity Testament states “for the gate to fame... READ MORE

Eva Mendes Is A Struggling Mother

September 24, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Please don’t forget about Eva Mendes. She’s more than Ryan Gosling’s good looking goo depository that he has yet to put a ring on. She has talent, but baby-mommahood is a challenge and it’s keeping her very busy. It’s... READ MORE

Emilia Clarke Doesn’t Know What To Do With Her Life Now

September 23, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I’m often amazed how having a handicap has gone from being a disability to being an advantage. Wheelchair parking takes up a good percentage of prime parking at every establishment. Even at places like the gym, where there’s always... READ MORE

Khloe Kardashian Baffled By Rude Comments About Her Baby

September 22, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I don’t think many people are concerned about what Khloe is up to anymore. She’s right next to Kendall and Kourtney, completing the unholy trinity of Kardashian-Jenners that the world couldn’t care any less about. And by care, I... READ MORE

Dwayne Johnson Under Fire For Cultural Appropriation

September 21, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

One of the benefits of being in Hollywood is that it’s completely acceptable to be oblivious to everyone else’s feelings. Egyptians are closer in connection to sub-Saharan African heritage more than European you say? Someone get Joel Edgerton on... READ MORE

Drew Barrymore Recommits To Rebuking Blow

September 20, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I don’t think there’s a soul in North America that gives a poo what Drew Barrymore is up to. At 43 she’s still pushing the signature Revlon no. 30 hooker on Hunts Point blonde with bright red lipstick aesthetic.... READ MORE

Eminem Apologizes

September 20, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Eminem’s new album mostly received terrible reviews from every mainstream music blog. Which I honestly expected since the staff of writers from those sites mostly hail from Williamsburg Brooklyn and believe manliness can be worn like a fashion accessory.... READ MORE

Jared Leto Protesting In Pink Against Overpaid Women

September 19, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Jared Leto is a lot of things. An actor, a musician, and most recently, a victim of the male pay gap. If you’re in the LA area, you can get a glimpse of Jared protesting the injustice in a... READ MORE

Asia Argento Wants To Sue Rose McGowan

September 19, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Fun fact: Rose McGowan was raised in the Children of God cult. For those that don’t know, the Children of God, now known as the Family International, encourages copulating with kids, preferably with the ones that are related to... READ MORE

Bradley Cooper Saves Face After Hiring Accused Sexual Harasser

September 18, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Olivia Munn stirred the pot when she sniffed out a prior sexual predator on The Predator set. It looked bad for Shane Black since he and the accused were friends, but Fox just cut the offender’s scene and sidestepped... READ MORE