Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas have been in Europe on vacation all week, and earlier today, while off the coast of Portofinio, Italy, on a yacht bigger than the high school I went to, Catherine strutted around in a bikini and showed how good a 50-year-old can look when she has implants.
In summation: if you ever hear someone say that money can’t buy happiness, you should slap them in their god-dammed liar mouth.
(image source = bauer griffin)
Just 7 days ago, Catherine Zeta Jones was so depressed and overwhelmed that she checked into a mental health facility to be treated for a bipolar disorder. It was so bad she even turned down a People magazine cover story when they asked to interview her about it. Oh wait never mind.
(Jones) realized she needed help in the face of mounting depression.
“The simple things would just seem overwhelming, like going out to dinner,” says the close friend. “There was just a little piece of her chipped away. It was hard to watch because I knew how hard she was trying.”
Now, just one week later, not only is she back at work in Louisiana filming a movie called Playing the Field, but she’s agreed to join Tom Crusie, Alec Baldwin, and Russell Brand in Rock of Ages.
To recap, she was depressed but now she has an almost manic energy and focus. In other words she wasn’t really paying attention when they explained what bipolar means.
(image source = splash news)
The last time we saw Catherine Zeta Jones, she was in London to receive a medal from Prince Charles (wait, what?). She was with her husband Michael Douglas, going through a crowd of paparazzi and then screaming, “How dare you punch me” like a crazy woman (video here).
Now it turns out she is crazy. Crazy about hats? Yes! But also regular crazy too.
Catherine Zeta-Jones has checked into a hospital for Bipolar II Disorder.
Her rep tells ET, “After dealing with the stress of the past year, Catherine made the decision to check in to a mental health facility for a brief stay to treat her Bipolar II Disorder. She’s feeling great and looking forward to starting work this week on her two upcoming films.”
It’s possible, I guess, that this and Michaels stage 4 cancer are just bad luck, but it’s probably because their son is the devil. Like in the Omen. That kid is terrifying. He couldn’t look any more evil unless he was inside a pentagram drawn in blood.
(image source = inf daily)
Entertainment Tonight has video of Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas in London last night, and as they went from their car to their hotel, Jones started screaming hysterically that one of the paparazzi punched her. Then Douglas called the guy an asshole, pushed him, and told him to “get the fuck out of here with that.”
After that he strutted away triumphantly, still undefeated in fights against people who just stand there. Toddlers on swings get pushed harder than that paparazzi was, and it’s not like he was going to punch a 66-year-old who died 4 months ago. I’ve had tougher fights while trying to fold a fitted sheet.
(image source = pacific coast)
MICHAEL DOUGLAS - has throat cancer, and is about to start 8 weeks of chemo. And since if he dies, Catherine Zeta Jones will be rich and single, his treatment isn’t gonna go so well if you catch my drift. (the sun)
LAURENCE FISHBURNE - has spoken to his daughter Montana for the first time since she announced she’s going into porn, but it was only to tell her he isn’t speaking to her until she gets out of porn. Luckily for him there are a lot of girls out there named “Montana Fishburne”. I bet most of his friends haven’t even made the connection. (popeater)
JESSICA SIMPSON - says she wishes she had a bigger ass and smaller tits. In other words, unemployed and anonymous. (huff post)
BRITNEY SPEARS - looked great on her way to Westlake studios in LA yesterday, which means today she’ll look like complete hell again. It’s a little game she plays. (x17)
Catherine Zeta Jones is naked in the new issue of Allure magazine, and she looks amazing considering she’s 40. She looks even more amazing considering she’s not 40 like she says she is, and actually is closer to 50. Either way she’s now officially the oldest woman in Hollywood I’d have sex with. Before this it was Selena Gomez.
