Hillary Duff Looking Sharp

By Matt March 17, 2015 @ 7:33 AM

Duff

Hillary Duff Instagrammed herself in a bikini and gave a shout out to All the Moms Out There because taking photos of your tits and ass in inexorably tied to making other people:

“Hey #moms #westillgotit ❤ #loveyourbod”

You’ve still got it. I’m not sure about the rest of America. Have you been to a Dairy Queen? I don’t see your kid in the picture. Would that make it weird? Maybe leave your reproductive habits out of the equation then. Duff was cheered on by a gaggle of women she wouldn’t shake hands with outside of a paid promotional engagement. This is more proof that any rich woman who was previously super hot can have a child at a young age and then turn him over to a Guatemalan woman and do pilates ten hours a day and still find time to take sexy photos of themselves. The critics have been silenced.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

Hillary Duff Knew Exactly What She Was Doing

By Travis May 27, 2014 @ 2:00 PM

Hillary Duff with her kid and maybe her nipple

Hillary Duff took to Instagram yesterday to let her fans into a very special moment in her life, by posting a photo of her sharing an embrace with her son, along with the message, “This is everything.” That’s pretty beautiful, isn’t it? A mother and her son, and all that truly matters in the world captured perfectly by one photo shared with 1.8 million people. I just can’t get past the part where the kid has basically exposed his mom’s entire breast, and I can’t tell if that’s the edge of her bra or a nipple right next to his elbow, but either way he deserves some ice cream and a high five.

Aaron Carter Wants Hilary Duff Back

By Jack March 07, 2014 @ 4:48 PM

Aaron Carter is still in love with his teenage girlfriend Hilary Duff and is acting like a middle school girl on Twitter to prove it. The two of them dated when they were 13, back when Aaron could only dream about meeting his future broke and unemployed hero self in ten years time. They would braid each other’s hair and doodle love notes in his unicorn trapper keeper until he chose loose lipped Lindsay Lohan over Hilary. It appears that Aaron only now realizes the error of slipping his wee-wee into Lindsay instead of waiting on Hilary. He Tweeted a picture of the about to be divorced Duff and wrote,

“Don’t be that stupid douche that loses the love of your life forever.. Like me…I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to better myself to get back to her. I don’t care what ANY of you think.”

I’m sure it sucks that your glory days happened in middle school, but women do not like the smell of desperation. Play it cool, Snapper. Start tweeting about all the hotties be hitting on you during your swing shit at Jack in the Box. Subtly mention how it looks like the creditors might let you keep your Fiero. And then, you can never go wrong with using your God-given vocal talents to win her back. They’ve yet to invent a girl who can resist the doleful croon of Aaron’s Party (Come Get It). Stick to your game, player. This seems nearly certain to happen.