Hunger Games Catching Fire Already Sucks

By Bill March 07, 2013 @ 2:15 PM


I wanted to like The Hunger Games. Like every other dude, I’m big on Jennifer Lawrence. I like science fiction. And the sight of fully grown warriors ripping the heads off of hapless middle school opponents gives me feelings of intense vicarious joy. But, at some point, you just realized, Hunger Games is fantasy action for chicks.

Girls like some cool stuff. It’s not that they can’t. But girls also like wardrobe and romance and the far-fetched fantasy of finding a cute boy with a great haircut who will value them for more than just sex. There was too way too much of that in The Hunger Games. It was like watching a music video from one of those Lilith Fair artists who now hawk signature lines of vegan scones and strum their guitars in coffee houses that smell like lesbians. Way too much emo self-reflection, not nearly enough blood. And zero sex or skin.

The second part of the trilogy, Catching Fire, looks to be about the same. Jennifer Lawrence sure has nailed the ‘thoughtful melancholy stare into the distance’. Would it kill her to work on her ‘topless, prone, and being nailed from behind’ look? No. And it would make the next Hunger Games much better.

Take a look at some pictures out from the production set:

 

‘Hunger Games’ will make $140,000,000 this weekend

By brendon March 23, 2012 @ 4:26 PM

hunger-games-movie-image-jennifer-lawrence-liam-hemsworth-011

‘The Hunger Games’ is now expected to have the largest opening weekend ever after already making almost $30 million, despite being out for less than a day, and despite the fact that everything in the commercials sounds like nonsensical gibberish to everyone who hasn’t read the books. You win again, unpopular high school girls!

(not that it matters, but it’s getting good reviews, with an 87 on rotten tomatoes and a 68 on metacritic)

girls have awful taste in movies

By brendon February 02, 2012 @ 8:11 PM

Wouldn’t it be great if action movies were written by girls, and took place in some fantasy world where girls fought boys in hand to hand combat and beat them up, and there were fancy costumes and goofy names and lots of whining and Donald Sutherland was forced to say the words, “Happy Hunger Games!”

No, of course not. A movie like that would be ridiculous. And yet here it is.