02.25.2010 i dont feel so good

36935PCN_Kirstie

For the past 10 years Kirstie Alley has been in a contest with Mad Cow Disease to see who could put away the most cattle. Because of this, her weight has fluctuated wildly, from 400 pounds all the way up to 402. But 2010 began a new diet and a new fitness regimen. The results so far have been amazing. On Twitter, she wrote…

YEEEHAA WOOHOO… LOST 6 POUNDS since Jan.1 Yay yay… so 6 pounds in 11 days… I’ll take it!!! FEELS GREAT to be ON TRACK… hear that ENQUIRER?

That probably just means she weighed herself after going to the bathroom, but whatever, because as bad as it is picturing her alone, now picture her having sex with Jamie Foxx. People.com says…

During an interview with Kirstie Alley, set to air Thursday on the Oprah Winfrey Show, the host brought up a May 2009 PEOPLE interview in which Alley revealed her affinity for actor Jamie Foxx.
“I haven’t been having sex,” Alley, 59, said at the time. “I want a booty call with Jamie Foxx. For real,” she said. “I’ve always had a bit of a thing for him.”
“Well, you know, that’s really great because we have a special relationship, but I don’t want a booty call,” Winfrey says of her friend, who magically appeared via closed-circuit TV – prompting screams from Alley.
“Kirstie … with Oprah’s permission, I’ll be your booty call,” Foxx, 42, tells her.

It’s hard not to notice that Foxx didn’t appear in person. If he was worried about her rubbing her stomachs and then pouncing on him, all he would have to do is step up onto a curb or something. She’d be helpless, trapped down there until help arrived.


03.08.2007 BIG HOLLYWOOD STARS ARE CHEAP

Random stories like this always appear during a slow week, but Fox has a piece today laying out how incredibly cheap some celebrities can be.  They mention the lawsuit filed by a stylist against notorious jackass Jamie Foxx after he didn’t pay for work she did dressing him for awards shows and press junkets, but the article is mainly about celebrities who don’t tip in restaurants and bars.  Bill Cosby tipped $3 on a $375 meal, Ricki Lake tipped $8 from $142.50 check (even after having her dessert comped) and Sean Penn didn't tip a dime on a $450 meal in New Orleans.  Shockingly, Kirsten Dunst makes the list as well.  Fox says:

“The tangle of fame and fortune can also result in terrible tippers," said Eliza Pharrell, an assistant manager at a high-profile New York restaurant. "For instance, Kirsten Dunst came through and ran up a $233 bill and left without even the smallest gratuity."

Kirsten Dunst is exactly what an alien would be like if an alien came to earth and tried to blend in.  They wouldn't know about our earth customs like tipping.  Or dental care.  This is why she doesn't tan, I bet.  Her world has three suns and ours isn't strong enough for her cold clammy skin.  I heard that one guy saw her eat a mouse one time.  She just picked it up by it's tail and dropped it in her mouth whole.  It was still alive and everything, kicking and squeaking.  Swear to god, man.

(thanks to JoRgE for the link.  And for banging Ashlee Simpson so I could get some QT with Jess)