Here’s an idea. Whether you’re the chief of staff to a Congressman or just the guy who makes a face when I hand him my bowling shoes as if everybody else’s feet smell like fucking daffodils, don’t bang married porn stars. Or porn stars at all for that matter. Let go of your stupid adolescent illusion that there’s something good for you waiting in that heavily blasted quarry. Unless you’ve got a massive shlong and you can fuck like a superstar from the squat position, you’re not going to measure up. Adam Kuhn, lead aide to Congressman Steve Stivers, just couldn’t resist. He had an affair with Jennifer Roubene Allbaugh, a.k.a. Ruby the AVN Hall of Fame porn star and now married mom. It was just too damn tempting. Like all roads to Hell, it eventually led to Ruby posting pictures of Kuhn’s cock on her Twitter account:
“I hate you, AJK, you selfish pompous asshole. Now we’re even.”
Kuhn had to resign because that’s what politicians do when people find out what politician’s do after hours. Which just goes to show, the Internet has pretty much ruined fun. Back in the day, when a porn star or hooker accused you of throttling her vagina, you could just deny it and everybody believed the party who was not a paid sex worker. If you were a pol, you just blamed it on desperate partisan dirty tricks. Now you’ve got emails, text messages, and your dick hanging patriotically on Twitter. Ruby later apologized on Twitter to Kuhn for ruining his life. That’s the porn star dagger.
Photo Credit: Ruby Adultstar/Myspace