Mark Wahlberg Accused of Steroid Use by Captain Obvious

January 19, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If there’s one thing I’ve learned here wrapping up five years, it’s that after thousands of stories of shocking behavior and exclamation point worthy headlines, not a single one of these stories is the least bit stunning or unpredictable. Once you take a moment to understand a people or types of people, you can no […]

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Donald Trump Has an Undead Hooker Problem

January 19, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The cliche line reads that the only thing that’ll cost you your job in Washington D.C. is a dead hooker in your bed, or a live boy. The former probably holds true. The latter may now launch you into higher office. President Trump has a live hooker problem. No, not Melania. She’s cool. Porn star, […]

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Samantha Bee Reminds Us That Men Are Basically Rapists in Poor Disguise

January 19, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Samantha Bee took a strong stand among her one-hundred percent lock-step audience by denouncing the people denouncing the chick who wrote an op-ed piece calling Aziz Ansari a sexual “misconduct” kind of guy for not reading her unspoken cues during sex after a dinner date. Some people felt that Ansari shouldn’t be smeared with the […]

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Disabled Groups Slam Casting of Joaquin Phoenix as Paraplegic

January 19, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There are a thousand things wrong with this world, and a thousand fixes, half of them maybe make sense. The other half are ludicrous. Befriend people who can discern the difference between smart and dumb solutions and you won’t find yourself on the embarrassing end of a protest march or sit-in. Gus Van Sant has […]

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James Gunn Fat Shames Donald Trump

January 18, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In a move that proves fat shaming is an entirely invented offense for the sake of women feeling offended on an as-needed basis, politically progressive Hollywood director James Gunn came out and called Donald Trump a big fat liar. Emphasis on the fat. A long time Trump Administration anger-management, Gunn proposed on social media that […]

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Taylor Swift Continues Trademark Takeover of the World

January 18, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Taylor Swift continues to trademark inane child-like lyrics from her hit songs to the benefit of moving licensed merchandise with the phrases. It makes no sense unless your fifteen and your parents think buying you useless crap will make you hate them less. So, half of American girls, and about a quarter of the rest […]

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Alec Baldwin Defends Woody Allen, Might Be Drinking Again

January 17, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There was a time not so long ago when Alec Baldwin was traversing the streets of Manhattan, drunk, pounding car hoods, and unleashing homophobic and racist slurs upon his fellow progressive intellectuals. To be fair, these were the various trimesters when his young and pretend Spanish yoga instructor wife was off-limits for sexual deposits. The […]

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Chelsea Manning Running for Senate (VIDEO)

January 17, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Chelsea Manning, the former Private Bradley Manning who kicked off WikiLeaks with a 750,000 page dump of secure documents involving America’s war in Iraq and Afghanistan, is running for Senate. The nation has seen many war heroes run for office. Less often soldiers convicted of treason. You may recall Bradley Manning entered Leavenworth prison on […]

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Matt Damon Sorry He Ever Opened His Adorable Little Mouth

January 17, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Matt Damon has come to the conclusion that he should never speak again in public. This could’ve been hailed a huge step forward for the rest of us. But it was merely Damon’s seventeenth apology to women for being a man. Also for saying a couple months ago that rapists shouldn’t be conflated with guys […]

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Supergirl Tackles Harassment With Practiced Aplomb

January 16, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s odd when they ask actors their opinions of #MeToo outed sexual harassers with whom they’ve worked. It’s actually odd when actors are asked for their opinions on anything. Oh, you’re stupid AND famous? Please, give us some insight. Similar to how they insist an actor who played an astronaut in a movie comment on […]

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