Katie Holmes was on set in New York this afternoon for a movie called ‘Son Of No One’, co-starring Al Pacino, Ray Liotta and Channing ‘Worst Actor Alive’ Tatum. I don’t know what the movie is about but it looks terrible. That’s the worst zombie costume I’ve ever seen. They didn’t even add any blood or rip her jeans. She is supposed to be a zombie, right? I hope she is. Because if not she might be an actual zombie.
12.02.2009 katie holmes just got paid
Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have been married just over 3 years now (Nov. 18) and despite recent rumors that their relationship is struggling, things are going great. So well in fact, Katie has even agreed to extend her marriage contract. Aww. This is really touching.
OK! can exclusively report that the Cruises have reached a deal on expanding their family: Katie plans to get pregnant sometime in the next year.
“She no longer feels like she’s just Mrs. Cruise. She’s her own person again,” a pal tells OK! of the couple’s decision. “She and Tom have their disagreements, but deep down they love each other very much. That’s what is important.”
Being rich must be awesome. Normally this kind of thing is called prostitution, but if the number is high enough they call it “loving each other very much”. The issue isn’t paying a girl to have sex with you, it’s paying her a hundred dollars to have sex with you. This is the kind of shit that happens when you let women vote.
11.13.2009 katie holmes is a natural beauty
I’m already on record as saying Katie Holmes is hot so it’s prolly too late to pretend that didn’t happen, but in my defense I had no way of knowing she was gonna do this. Stumble around on Long Island this morning like a rape victim who just chewed through her ropes. God you women are maddening. How could someone who looks like this trick me into thinking she was so cute. She probably used some kind of kissing potion to cloud my mind and make me fall in love with her. Because I’m so handsome. Yes, yes it’s all adding up now.
(image source = inf daily)
10.21.2009 katie holmes is awesome
I know that all the cool kids think Katie Holmes sucks, but those kids are clearly queer because she’s terrific looking. And today the Sun UK agrees with me, saying she’s “back to her breast”. Actually I don’t know what the hell that means but she wore a sheer shirt the other night in New York and I assume the two are related. Also related is how awesome she looked topless in ‘the Gift’ (video evidence here if you forgot). I think if people remembered that movie, they would respect her more. They would get down on one knee as she passed them on the street, and only speak of her in hushed whispers. “There she is. The one with the titties.”
(hq jump here. image source = getty images)
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07.24.2009 Katie Holmes is talented - UPDATE
Last night was the much-talked about appearance of Katie Holmes on “So You Think You Can Dance”. When it broke in June that she was going to sing and dance in a hugely elaborate homage to Judy Garland, a source told Us magazine, “She is killing it. She looks incredible. Everyone is absolutely floored by how talented she is.”
“Everyone” must have thought she was a zombie before this or one of the backup dancers is also named Katie Holmes, because all she does here is kind of goose-step back and forth and occasionally move her mouth at the same pace of the song that’s playing. It looks less like dancing and more like she’s walking on hot sand.
TIME SAVING UPDATE - i cut the video down to just the part where she dances. it still looks like something from the ministry of silly walks, but now it takes 2 minutes less to get to it.
06.16.2009 Morning headlines
KATIE HOLMES - taped a guest appearance on So You Think You Can Dance yesterday, and yes she will be dancing. In fact a source said: “She is killing it. She looks incredible. Everyone is absolutely floored by how talented she is.” Then the source was asked his name, and he said, “Tom, wait, um, yes, T-Tom … Cru … Crew … Sing … Ton … Berg. Tom Crusingtonberg. Yes, yes that will do.” (source = us)
WILL SMITH - and his wife Jada often sneak off during parties or pull over on the side of the road to have sex. Well big deal so do I. Wait. Oh they probably mean with a partner. Never mind. I’m so lonely! (source - imdb)
MEGAN FOX - was photographed topless on the set of Jennifers Body in May of last year, so I have no idea why the always great Daily News is making a big deal out of that today, but as it turns out I also don’t care. Look, tits! (source = new york daily news)
