Lena Dunham Should Maybe Not Wear Yoga Pants

By Jack April 29, 2013 @ 12:49 PM

Wearing really tight yoga pants is a not a right it’s a privilege. Lena Dunham, the dumpy Girls star was seen on the set of her shitty hipster TV show wearing the inexplicable outfit of a leather jacket, ratty t-shirt, old sneakers, and a pair of yoga pants at least two sizes too small. She has a veritable caravan of camel toe going on down by her hairy maw. I suppose a super hot girl could get away with this, but they can get away with anything. Man, woman, whatever, you’ve got to know your place. This post-modern post-feminist is the executive producer, sometimes director and writer, and star of a major television production. You do not show up on the fucking set dressed like Amanda Bynes in about six more months of self-medicated Der Wienerschnitzel gorging. The crew isn’t going to respect you if they’re staring at the outline of your hearty girl meat flaps all day. And, yeah, guys will stare at anything. Lena doesn’t necessarily need to change her outfit, just her venue. Like maybe a Marine bar in Manila harbor. After victory has been declared in some war.

The TIME 100 — 100 What?

By Lex April 24, 2013 @ 1:14 PM

Christina Aquilera At The TIME 100 Gala
If you found out there was a list going around that included names the likes of Lena Dunham, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, and Ariana Huffington, you’d think what I’m thinking — this is a list of people in the world I’d least like to fuck. And you would be right. But it’s also the Time 100 list. It’s supposed to be super influential people. Really inspiring people like Christina Aguilera who has helped countless women to not feel ashamed about looking hammered in public settings. Or the Swedish dude who invented Minecraft so that boys around the world could get even fatter. It’s like Schindler’s List, you want to be on this one.

Photo Credit: PCN, WENN

Lena Dunham Doesn’t Want To Be A Victoria’s Secret Model

By Travis March 15, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Girls seem to love Lena Dunham because she’s smart and fearless, the anti-sex symbol for a new generation of female comedians thanks to her hit HBO show Girls. Meanwhile, most guys are pretty torn over her, because they either can’t figure out why she’s taking her clothes off or they’re threatened by her empowering success. At the very least, she has a lot on her mind and she makes for some good quotes.

Dunham was the subject of Playboy’s latest batch of 20 questions, and my first thought upon reading the feature was, “Good God, Jessica Burciaga is like young, hot Jennifer Lopez all over again.” But then Dunham said some stuff about Victoria’s Secret Angels and that got my attention back.

Playboy: If you woke up tomorrow in the body of a Victoria’s Secret model, what would you do for the rest of the day?

Dunham: I’d be really disoriented and wonder what had happened in the night. Which enemy had dragged me to the doctor? I don’t think I’d like it very much. There would be all kinds of weird challenges to deal with that I don’t have to deal with now. I don’t want to go through life wondering if people are talking to me because I have a big rack. Not being the babest person in the world creates a nice barrier. The people who talk to you are the people who are interested in you. It must be a big burden in some ways to look that way and be in public. That said, I probably would want to see if I could get free food at restaurants. Then I’d call a doctor and see if she could return me to my former situation. (Playboy, NSFW site)

Sorry, but I’m willing to bet that Candice Swanepoel has never muttered the phrase, “Gosh, it’s just so hard being a beautiful woman.” Girl power’s cool and all, but let’s at least be realistic.

(Photo Credits: WENN.com)

Lena Dunham Wants To Bite Anne Hathaway’s Teeth

By Jack February 27, 2013 @ 4:15 PM

Because we all live to hear from her, Lena Dunham has pulled the bear claw out of her mouth long enough to praise Anne Hathaway for her performance at the Oscars. There may be no one alive today more annoying or full of crap than Lena Dunham. The Ewok-like Girls writer is throwing her support behind fellow screeching banshee Anne Hathaway. Many people gave Anne crap for her faux-modesty filled and over rehearsed appearance at the Oscars. A lot of the hate came from women who found both the weight loss she made such a big deal about and her whole demeanor annoying. So, Lena came to her defense Tweeting, “Ladies: Anne Hathaway is a feminist and she has amazing teeth, let’s save our bad attitudes for the ones who aren’t advancing the cause.”

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