Lena Dunham Is A Psychiatrist And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 15, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

457237126

Lena Dunham has once again made something she has nothing to do with all about her. She’s weighing in on the whole Amanda Bynes issue. Lena’s well versed in the psychiatric sciences since her naked lumpy character on Girls went crazy. I hope Amanda Bynes eats her.

Read Lena’s diagnosis and prescription for Amanda. (The Superficial)

This is Locas Diego and these are her chi-chis. (Drunken Stepfather)

Angela Ruiz sure knows how to wear fucking lingerie. (Hollywood Tuna)

Nadine Leopold and her freckle face are highly fappable in these lingerie pics. (Popoholic)

Jennifer Lawrence’s sham of a relationship to Coldplay is getting “serious”. (Dlisted)

Denise Schaefer eats the fuck out of a burger. (COED)

MMA Veronica Macedo is hot but she’ll kick your balls into your mouth. (Busted Coverage)

2014 Emmy Awards Red Carpet Pictures, Lena Dunham Just Ruined Everything

By Lex August 25, 2014 @ 4:24 PM

Lena-Dunham-2014-Emmy-Awards

The 2014 Emmy Awards were just beginning their train of anorexic beauties on channels I have to skip past when maneuvering between ESPN and the regional sports channels. Then along comes Lena Dunham with the visuals of a Tim Burton re-imagined SNO BALL® and everything is ruined. Where is the line between being principally anti-beauty and reveling in your fugly? Forever two paces behind Lena Dunham. Who do I sue to get my boner back?

Here are the girls from the 2014 Emmy Awards I would let date me. Some of them may be under eighteen, so perhaps we’d have to date in Canada or another third world nation:

Photo credit: Getty Images / AKM-GSI / FameFlynet

What The Fuck Happened to Books?

By Lex June 02, 2014 @ 8:34 AM

Farrah-Abraham-Nicky-Hilton-Lena-Dunham-at-BookExpo

It’s no wonder the kids aren’t reading books anymore. It seems like only last year the New York BookExpo hosted masters of the ink and paper like Gwyneth Paltrow with her perfect recipes for guilt-free paella and a happy marriage. This year we got Farrah Abraham, Nicky Hilton, and Lena Dunham, the Hemingways of the Millennials. Of the three of them, Lena is the only one capable of fashioning the written word. If you’re up for a couple hundred pages into the self-absorbed hijinks of an entitled chubby girl with a loyal user card at Planned Parenthood, this is your summer read.

Farrah Abraham’s saucy novel follows the erotic tales of the completely fictional character Fallon Opal. Fallon rises to fame on a reality show, has an ass-to-mouth sex tape released she pretends is against her wishes, and finds a swarthy man named Dimitri to love her for who she really is, which I guess is Farrah Abraham. It’s hard to believe people would read books about the making of porn rather than just, I don’t know, watch porn, but dumb people need dumb books too.

Nicky Hilton is the world’s most boring person. Like her sister she’s not endowed with the ability to count high enough to certify a full deck of playing cards. Unlike her sister she lacks the joie de vivre and Neurosyphilis Dementia to be interesting. But, she’s got a book. If you ever wanted  to know how to dress like a trainable heiress who still cowers in fear when it rains, Style 360 is a must read. Get it now before her publicity teams buys up all the first-runs so they can pretend real people bought it.

Photo credit: FameFlynet

Even Lena Dunham’s Dog Hates Her

By Travis May 29, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

Lena Dunham's dog bit her ass

Lena Dunham adopted a rescue dog back in January, and it ended up taking about five months for it to get fed up with her shit. The Girls star posted a photo of her ass to Instagram last night to show everyone that her dog, Lamby, bit her on the ass and drew blood. At least I think the dog drew blood, because otherwise that’s pretty gross that she’s wearing underwear with blood on it. But that might just prove how out of touch I am with the hipster culture, because blood-covered underwear probably runs a few hundred dollars extra at the thrift stores in Brooklyn, and skidmarks? Forget about it. You’d need to be starring in your own feature films to afford that kind of shit-stained used swag.

Lena Dunham’s Shoes Were Killing Her

By Lex May 06, 2014 @ 12:53 PM

Lena Dunham Waits Barefoot For A Car After The Met Gala
Lena Dunham was warned by her fairy godmother to get home from the ball before midnight, but she just wouldn’t listen. Now just look at that sad pumpkin. In fairness to Lena, it’s super hard to find designer shoes in size Hobbit-wide. I only wish Judd Apatow had been around to disperse the young street children who danced around Lena’s cankles like they were Maypoles.

Photo Credit: Splash

Lena Dunham Is Still A Classic Beauty

By Travis April 08, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

Girls star Lena Dunham was a guest of honor at the Point Honors New York Gala last night, as she received an award for all of the work that she does as an advocate for the LGBTQ community, which is a very formal way of saying that gay people love her. However, the actress still looked about as comfortable on the event’s red carpet as Kim Kardashian in a talent competition. Lena eventually thanked designer Marc Jacobs for her gold gown, which she said gave her “boob I could use,” and it was at that point that every man at the Point Honors Gala turned to each other and whispered, “And that’s why.”

Photo Credits: Getty