By Lex October 24, 2013 @ 3:24 PM
Haggard and demonic Vogue editor Anna Wintour has taken a kinship interest in Lena Dunham who she sees as a the voice of a new generation. Which makes total sense, since nobody really actually watches Girls, which gets 20% of the audience of Game of Thrones on HBO, if it’s lucky. And many of that audience it turns out is men who will watch anything on HBO with boobs in it. So, net, about 300,000 young disillusion women with liberal arts degrees who grew up feeling like they couldn’t be friends with anyone on Sex in the City. I can see how Anna Wintour identifies with that crowd, given that after staying home on prom night she vowed to never fully smile ever again. But putting Lena Dunham on the cover seems like the nuclear option for dealing with your personal disaffection with the male dominated media world currently run by women. You put Lena’s punim on Vogue and there’s no known road back to Cindy Crawford.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Lex October 10, 2013 @ 11:37 AM
Lena Dunham milked a cow during an interview in the meat packing district. Lena’s really smart and completely self-aware so I assume she picked up on the irony. Maybe even the cow did as well, we’ll never know.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Jack September 24, 2013 @ 2:45 PM
A bizarre piece of Lena Dunham fan fiction has hit the web that first appeared on Craigslist. Some strange/fucked up individual with a thing for doughy annoying chicks decided to post the piece in the “missed connections” section, AKA the “stalker forum”. Unlike other fan fiction in which the characters spend the entire story fucking, this one is mostly a guy whining about Lena Dunham’s success. Leave it to a Girls fan to make something that’s supposed to be sexy this lame. It’s told from the point of view of Lena’s college boyfriend who has trouble dealing with her success, (and the fact that she made a character based on him gay). Here is an excerpt:
“But seeing you naked again wasn’t enough. I needed more. I thought about what BabyUnicorn85 had said earlier. It’s like Lena Dunham grew a dick and the whole world lined up to suck it. And that’s what I imagined. You with a dick. Not a strap on, but you–small tits, soft curves, and all–with a big, hard, dick. Only I wasn’t there to suck it. I was bent over and spread open. Ready to be fucked.”
I can’t see why she thought he was gay. Some people are speculating that it really was her college boyfriend that wrote this. I think it was Lena herself. She hasn’t been in the news as much lately since her show is on hiatus so I think she did this just to get back in the papers. And make us think of her with a dick. Read the whole thing here.
By Lex September 23, 2013 @ 12:30 PM
Here’s what I learned watching the Emmy’s last night. Cory Monteith is still dead. Nobody under the age of 50 watches network television any longer. And television actresses are mostly anorexic, the good looking ones at least. I guess I also relearned that Elton John is depressingly gay, Will Ferrell surprise guest appearances stopped being novel seventeen surprise guest appearances ago, and Tina Fey has real human nipples. That last one was the only part really worth learning. The rest was like algebra.
By Jack August 30, 2013 @ 12:35 PM
Lena Dunham sure is pleased with herself. But at least now she has a hit TV show with shut-ins, gays, and obese freshman English majors at Sarah Lawrence. But what about when she was just a small baby manatee waiting to grow into the flop sweat covered meatsack of grossness she currently is? I’m sure she went through an awkward phase where she thought she was ugly, right? Wrong. This is what this diluted potato head had to say in an interview in Marie Claire magazine:
“This could very easily be taken out of context and I think it’s funny now, but I remember looking in the mirror as a kid and it would be like for an hour at a time and I’d be like, ’I’m just so beautiful. Everybody is so lucky that they get to look at me.’ And of course that changes as you get older, but I may have held on to that little kid feeling that was me alone in my bathroom.”
See, this is exactly the problem growing up with rich hippie parents. A little fucking shame is good for you. No one should be praised all the time, much less if you look like Abe Vigoda but with smaller tits. My mom used to introduce me to people by joking that I was the product of the less attractive milkman. If Lena’s shitty parents had just instilled a little humility and self-loathing, then we wouldn’t have to deal with her doughy body waddling naked on our TV screens.
By Travis August 20, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
You guys can have Kate Upton and Erin Heatherton, because Lena Dunham is the only woman I’ll ever need. Look at her being all sultry and sensual on the set of Girls yesterday in New York City and flaunting that raw sexual energy all over the place like she owns every dick on that street. Very few women can command a guy’s attention like Lena does, and I think that some of the so-called “sexy” female celebrities out there could learn a thing or two from this vixen. Damn, I need a cold shower and cooler full of ice for these blue balls now.
(Photo Credits: Alberto Reyes/WENN.com)