By Michael January 25, 2016 @ 12:00 PM
Nicole Kidman has made a shit ton of movies you’ve never heard of or seen but that feature her super big nipples in some state of excitement on camera. This is why white people win all the Oscars.
Talk about pretty in pink. (Egotastic All-Stars)
Jennifer Bambi Martinez wears an arm bra and little else. (Last Men On Earth)
Gisele Bundchen could do better than that homunculus neanderthal Tom Brady. (TMZ)
Jenny Mollen does pilates sans pants. Or underwear. (Drunken Stepfather)
Let’s pretend it’s the 90′s and check out hottie Kate Beckinsale. (Popoholic)
The underboob pen challenge is a thing. (The Chive)
Gigi Hadid flashes some cleavage and bare midriff. (Hollywood Tuna)
By Matt January 27, 2015 @ 7:07 AM
A new documentary called Going Clear is being roundly applauded at the Sundance Film Festival which likely means it’s cloying and unwatchable. It spills a bunch of beans about Scientology like how they abuse children and subvert labor laws and hypothesizes Nicole Kidman left Tom Cruise because he was way too into the Church although it doesn’t mention his love of the cock. The Church of Scientology is super pissed at film director Alex Gibney and HBO for agreeing to air the movie:
“The Church has documented evidence that those featured in Gibney’s film regurgitating their stale, discredited allegations are admitted perjurers, admitted liars and professional anti-Scientologists whose living depends on the filing of false claims.”
If you need to see a documentary to learn that Scientology isn’t for you, then Scientology probably is for you. There’s nothing inherently wrong with joining a cult and handing over your free will and all your worldly possessions. It’s not really that different than marriage and some guys just don’t do well as adults on their own. So long as the cult isn’t trying to blow up pizza shops, I could care less. Money and power flow from the stupid to the not stupid. That’s human nature. If it wasn’t Scientology, it’d be something else. I’d rather pretend Ethan Hunt is straight for as long as possible.
Photo Credit: Getty Images
By Lex October 28, 2014 @ 12:41 PM
When it’s time to dial up Americana for your big Chinese golf tournament, your party invite plan immediately moves to Morgan Freeman, Chris Evans, and Kenny G. That’s God, Captain America, and a fey alto sax player to make the lingering Communist propagandists happy in their mockery of the U.S. You also invite Jessica Alba because half a billion dudes in China want to bang her too. I can’t imagine how much cash it took to bring these celebrities in formal wear to a golf course in Shenzen, but if you didn’t pay the extra two mill to see Jessica flash her tits at the 19th hole bar, you wasted all the rest.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Michael September 13, 2013 @ 3:08 PM
Natural redhead Nicole Kidman is pressing charges against paparazzo Carl Wu after he knocked her on her Aussie ass during Fashion Week. The photographer was trying to take pictures when he lost control of his bike and crashed into the tallest of Tom Cruise’s former beard. She isn’t hurt but she’s going to press charges anyway, which is what Wu deserves for not knowing that you don’t ride bikes on the sidewalk and wearing a headband after 1985.
Last night was The 85th Annual Academy Awards and I’m completely ashamed to say I watched the entire thing. To sum it up, Seth MacFarlane did surprisingly not shitty, Jennifer Lawrence fell down, the Best Director winner was bullshit, Ben Affleck got snubbed, then didn’t and George Clooney kept getting free scotch thrown at him for smiling every time someone joked he banged and/or will bang somebody like nine-year-old Quvenzhané Wallis (Actual Seth MacFarlane joke.) who already had to deal with Daniel Day Lewis demanding she thank him backstage. This shouldn’t fuck a kid up.
(Images of celebs who showed up to last night’s Oscars with varying degrees of cleavage or dumb-looking faces = Getty)