By Jack October 06, 2015 @ 12:00 PM
Singer and occasional Chris Brown punching bag Rihanna came out in defense of Rachel Dolezal, the NAACP local official who faked being black for years. She said she was “kind of a hero” for fooling everyone. Rachel Dolezal came out in favor of Rihanna’s singing for the same reason.
Read more of Rihanna’s love of cultural appropriation. (TMZ)
Bono’s daughter Eve Hewson has some big ‘ol titties. (Last Men On Earth)
Elisa Meliani is all kinds of naked in these pics. (Drunken Stepfather)
Charissa Littlejohn is cleavy as fuck in a black bikini. (Egotastic)
Behold Zendaya’s sideboob! Behold it, I said! (Hollywood Tuna)
Hot chicks dressed like cops can touch my night stick any day. (The Chive)
Vanessa Hudgens looks like a clown. A clown I’d like to boink. (Popoholic)
By Lex September 25, 2015 @ 12:57 PM
Rihanna isn’t just a hot piece of pierced nipples in stupid sunglasses. She’s a corporate fashion magnate in the making. Sensing the end of her music career due to her songs sounding exactly like eighty-seven other artists not too high to work, Rihanna launched the Fenty Corp fashion brand. Fenty is her real last name. I didn’t know either and I had ten years to Google while staring at her tits.
Some witty associate at Fenty made a funny with a one-sheet employee handbook passed out to the girls loaded with rich satire:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays and Sundays.
It is advised you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and don’t need a raise.
Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that’s all the time they need to drink a SlimFast.
If you printed shit like this even as a gag at a regular old non-female celebrity led company, you’d be sued, put into sensitivity training, and have a very serious woman in a beret walking by your office ominously with garden shears. In the Fenty Corp world where everybody hates themselves to the point of working in the fashion business, it’s an amusement. A chance to pause from your never ending thoughts of starvation and suicide. Dad always wanted a boy. But only after he met you. Keep up the freebie workplace violations. Barbados doesn’t honor extradition.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex September 03, 2015 @ 12:16 PM
Remember when the whole world got together and asked Rihanna to stop singing and she did? That was fucking amazing. Now she’s making the same cash money or more owning big pieces of fashion houses and using her Caribbean tits to sell pricy ensembles. We win, she wins, the child seamstresses of Surinam can afford the better used Band-Aids for their fingers. We need to do this more often. If only there were seventeen online petition sites where we could turn our petty grievances into breathless Huffington Post headlines. Life couldn’t be that perfect.
Photo Credit: Dior
By Matt August 17, 2015 @ 7:21 AM
Serial cock fiend Rihanna and the NBA’s I know that dude from high school Matt Barnes reportedly went on two dates. And he didn’t pay. That means they fucked at least twice. TMZ caught up with Barnes after he smoked a burrito sized slab of hash and he kind of confirmed and denied that he couldn’t comment on the eighth best night of his life. He’s probably still married. Luckily when they do the vows nowdays Rihanna doesn’t count. It’s like sales tax if it smells like bananas and couch cum. Also called Juicy Fruit. Watch the video he’s still in refractory. You’d do the same thing. Wash your dick. That sofa smells like hot ass.
Photo Credit: Instagram
By Lex August 13, 2015 @ 11:06 AM
Rihanna circled the lower part of Manhattan through the night visiting various tattoo parlors that would each in turn provide her with little bits of permanent future regret. Body art for women was invented as a way of separating mildly unattractive women from their truly horrific looking counterparts. It’s a demarcation line for inebriated men to fathom when they’d sunk just enough. That giant winged Beelzebub fucking Tony Orlando on your back is piercing my beer goggles. I’m going home to masturbate to the parts of Rihanna not covered in green. I’m lonely but I can urinate without screaming. Thank you obvious visual warnings.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Matt August 11, 2015 @ 7:04 AM
Rihanna is solidifying her status as the hot chick you hook up with once and never call back yet stay up late on holidays masturbating to the memory with a soft focus lens. She’s taken to laying down naked on Instagram and showing her luscious ass or whatever else to occupy her time besides writing music. She was “discovered” in Barbados. Doing what exactly? Hi I’m a record executive I’ve never seen such talent please continue sucking my cock, yes, it is huge, you’ve got the moxie. You totally want to do this and hit up urgent care in the morning. It’s 24 hours. Are my car keys in there? Well worth it.
Photo Credit: Instagram