AVATAR - will have cost around $500 million when it hits screens next month, so it’s already breaking records as the most expensive movie ever made, and the one people most regret investing in. WTF is this nonsense? (la times)
RIHANNA - is a little tattle-tale, according to Chris Brown, who thinks she should have kept her mouth shut after he punched her in the face a few dozen times. Instead she went and narked. That’s fucked up. He trusted her, and she betrayed that. What a bitch. (the sun)
BRITNEY SLAMMED DOWN UNDER - is without question the laziest suggestive headline ever written. (the sun)
LINDSAY LOHAN - was seen outside Crow in West Hollywood crying as she left Friday night. Probably because they ran out of cocaine. (star)
RAMPAGE JACKSON - was on set to film for ‘The A-Team’ in Vancouver today. Here the stuntman for Jacksons character ‘BA Baracus’ is going down the side of a building for some reason. Maybe ‘cause he didn’t have no time fo’ no jibba-jabba. (inf)
Stuff about Rihannas GMA interview, which is uncut tonight on 20/20, should have been up yesterday but this is depressing. And part 2 this morning got even worse. Here she talks about what actually happened in the car when he started hitting her. And if that wasn’t bad enough, spell check recommends “rhinos” when you misspell “Rihanna”. That shit is racist!
Yesterday she admitted she did go back to Brown “eight or nine times” even after he beat her, but finally ended it because she was so embarrassed at the prospect of staying with someone who had done this to her.
There’s simply no way this could be any worse for Brown. If she had been cursing him out and saying she wants to kill him, he could say “I told you that bitch was crazy”. But here she looks heartbroken. Not because she got beat up but because she really loved him and now she can’t be with him. Brown is fucked. This makes him look even worse. His only hope was she would go on there and act like the black woman in Jerry Bruckheimer movies, the kind at a fast food counter in a sky blue church outfit and a big hat with feathers, yelling at the kid behind the counter about respect because they ran out of biscuits.
TAYLOR SWIFT AND KANYE WEST - are an awesome costume that I bet more people wish they had thought of. And yes we were supposed to be done with Halloween pictures but I didn’t count on finding this one. Or this one of a ridiculously hot girl dressed as a Playboy bunny. Know what else I didn’t count on? Falling in love. (college humor)
RIHANNA - says she was humiliated when the picture of her with cuts and bruises on her face after being beaten by Chris Brown leaked online. Which is silly because that’s not her fault, and it let everyone know what a punk Chris Brown really is. Wearing those big dumb hoop earrings however is her fault, and she needs to knock that shit off. (abc news)
SEAN PENN - is the father of 16-year-old Hopper Penn, who was arrested at his Malibu school last week. Because Hooper is a minor police won’t say what he did. So let’s start telling people he joined al qaeda. “Hey did you hear Sean Penns son is in al qaeda? Oh I know! What a piece of shit that punk is. Let’s go throw rocks and bottles at his dad!” (wonderwall)
MARIAH CAREY - almost fell down as she walked out as a guest on the Jay Leno show yesterday. But then she didn’t, as you can see in this video. I’ve never seen such agility. She’s like a gazelle. (popeater)
Star and Us magazine both run cover stories today saying that Justin Timberlake has broken up with Jessica Biel, with Star adding “for Rihanna”, and yet Justin and Jessica were allegedly out together just last night, looking very much un-broken up as they held hands on the way to dinner. So what’s the truth?
Well, the magazines gain nothing by lying, but if Justin and Jessica can fool people into thinking they’re dating, then the world is theirs for the taking! Their powers grow with each day they fool us, soon there will be no stopping them!
Picking up trash because you punch girls in the face got a little bit sexier today when Chris Brown took off his shirt after a hard day of court ordered public service. He’s a jackass but he’s got good abs, I’ll give him that.
Back in Louisiana, I had a black friend named Curtis and he was built like one of the X-Men, like 220 pounds and all ripped out for no reason. As if his mom had been raped by a bear or something. For a while me and another friend had a theory that he was Batman. And one day I asked Curtis how the hell this happened because he’d never touched a weight in his life, and he patted his stomach and said, “it’s all those white girls man.” But I don’t think he knew either because I was sleeping with white girls too and I didn’t look like that.
Another time me and him were driving around and some hicks in a truck started yelling at us and he told me to pull over. And so I did. And then they did. And before I knew what was happening he took off his shirt and jumped out of the car and ran after them screaming like a lunatic and they sped off as fast as their POS truck would take them. And he got back in the car and I said, “what the hell are you doing”. And he said, “nah it’s cool. White boys are scared of big niggas.” And I said, “you are gonna put your shirt back on, right?”
My stories rarely go anywhere or have any point, in case you hadn’t noticed.
Rihanna walked around New York yesterday with her pierced breasts on full display, and Jesus Christ I’ve just about had it with you god damn women. I dated a girl once and it took three weeks to get her into bed, and when I got down there it turns out she’s pierced. So I had to jump through hoops for almost a month but at one point she went to a strip mall and spread her legs for some ex-con with a spike through his nose so he could stab her in the clitoris. Fantastic.
