Let’s start with the assumption that hot blond women can do pretty much whatever the hell they want. Still, you probably shouldn’t leave your AR-15 in the back of your rental car for the next driver to find. The rifle is registered to Miami QB Ryan Tannehill, but it was left in the rental by his cheerleader model wife Lauren. Ryan apparently is an avid hunter of shit you kill with an AR-15, like coyotes, boar, or Red Army Communist Chinese soldiers storming into Texas to take the Alamo. Because rental car companies named E-Z Rent don’t necessarily completely clean their vehicles between customers, a timid middle aged lady from New York on vacation in Florida with her daughter was the one to find the rifle in the trunk. They called the cops but not before they both freaked the shit out:
Oh my God, it’s a gun. I think I’m going to throw up.
And there you have the difference between people from New York and people from the South discovering an AR-15 in the trunk of their rental car. Where I lived in George, this would have been the start of one awesome evening of drinking and target practice.