Claire Danes was at the ‘Me & Orson Welles’ premiere last night in London, but this is not the classy and elegant lady I remember. In the sheer black top she was wearing, all I had to do was use Photoshop CS4 (which you can buy anywhere for around $900), then open each picture, select the Image menu, then Adjustments, then Brightness/Contrast. After that I just brightened the hell out of each picture frame-by-frame, and now you can sort of see her nipples. What a whore! “Put some clothes on you whore!”
Australia must be a utopia because the government has nothing to do but yell at Britney Spears for lip synching during her tour down there this week. On top of that, critics have called her show “boring and stiff”, and there are reports of fans walking out as early as the third song.
As you might imagine, this is doing anything but helping Brits already shaky confidence. Popeater says…
“Britney is aware of all this and she’s extremely upset by it,” Paul Dainty, Spears’ tour promoter, told ‘The Australian’ on Monday. “She’s a human being. I’m embarrassed, with such a big international entourage here with Britney, to be part of the Australian media when I see that kind of totally inaccurate reporting.”
In their reporting, Perth Now claimed “hundreds of fans stormed out” of the Friday concert. One fan, 22-year-old Amanda Hawlet put it bluntly: “I want my money back or I want her to sing properly. The ticket cost me $200 and she lip-synced the whole thing.”
They seem to under the very very false assumption that Britney is denying them something by not singing live. She can’t sing in a recording studio, she sure as hell can’t sing on stage while also trying to shuffle back and forth and then resting her hands on her hips and trying to catch her breath from all that shuffling. Everyone likes you Australia, we wouldn’t fuck with you. As God as my witness this way is best for everyone.
Eva Mendes was in New York last night for a screening of ‘Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans’, and if someone wanted to make the case that she’s the best looking person on earth, I would find it hard to argue. What helped is that she didn’t wear a bra and her shirt was held in place with little more than optimism.
Predictably, that did not work, so the pictures you really want are about halfway through the gallery. Sometimes I feel pictures like this are the only reason you come here. What happened to the quiet mornings when we would just sit on the back deck and read the paper together. Answer me. ANSWER ME! *brendon runs away crying, slams the bedroom door*
(this post took forever because I started yelling at my monitor for hollywood to kiss my ass. don’t hit the “read more”. you’re not gonna care.)
I had the video above showing Katy Perry almost flashing her tits during rehearsals of the MTV Europe Music awards together with the pictures in the post below, but now I’ve added some sceencaps from the video and so I’m splitting them into two posts. This way I’ve done essentially nothing and yet it looks as though I have. I’m a real busy bee.
Megan Fox has broken up with Brian Austin Green a dozen times, but they keep getting back together. She clearly wants out, probably to date me, but look at him. Look at him as they walk around Silver Lake yesterday, with Megan in a slightly see-thru shirt. He’s oblivious. He has no idea he’s on borrowed time. He has no idea what’s about to hit him. It’s this rock I found. GET AWAY FROM HER YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Britney Spears is in Perth today to rehearse for the Aussie leg of her ‘Circus’ tour, and it’s good to see she’s not taking any chances. In Australia, the bras are made of poison!
BOUNCY UPDATE - 2 x-ray’d pics at the end of the gallery thx to Raven.
